Taking It Slow
by GothGothBunnyBunny
Summary: In desperation to reel in Karamatsu Girls, self-proclaimed cool guy Karamatsu turns to Chibita for advice. Results prove to be quite...interesting. (This fic takes off after Season 1, Episode 15)(Karamatsu x Chibita)
1. At the oden stand

The moon shone brightly as it cast a faint glow on the leaves of the trees. The stars glittered against the dark blue sky. Crickets chirped their lonely songs from every bush and every tree branch. A rusty swing squealed softly as a breeze passed by the empty park.

 _It was indeed a perfect Saturday night for a date._

 _For another guy, that is._

Karamatsu frowned as he shoved his half-empty can of beer aside, slumped, and folded his arms across the table for the nth time since he got to Chibita's oden stand. He eyed Chibita, who hasn't uttered more than 4 words in exchange to his 2 short sentences; not that he was used to being ignored by people whenever he tried to initiate a conversation, but it was unusual for him to see Chibita be this quiet and reserved. He lowered his sunglasses and examined the park clock; it's been an hour and a half since he got here. He closed his eyes and sighed and decided that it was high time somebody had to break the ice between them.

"So, I've been rejected by potential _Karamatsu Girls_ yet again," he stated in a low voice as he propped himself up from his slump and shifted his glasses to the top of his head.

"Mhmm," Chibita nodded, staring at his lap and traced the stitching on the hem of his apron with a finger. Karamatsu hoped for Chibita to look up and make eye contact with him, or at least acknowledge the fact that he still exists in front of the oden stand's owner.

Karamatsu finally gained the strength to sample his serving of oden that he'd been fidgeting with and inspected its flavor between chews. "Hmm...still warm. Not bad. Still kinda salty though."

"…that's because I've been adding my tears." Chibita sighed and averted Karamatsu's gaze.

Karamatsu found it devastating to picture Chibita crying and kneeling over his wilted flower. He felt a sinking feeling at the pit of the stomach as he mustered to imagine how Chibita's face would crinkle, how his eyes would flood with tears, how his voice must've faltered. Then it dawned to him.

He was caged. How would he proceed to cheer up his friend? Should he put on his usual cool guy persona and dish out one of his "inspirational" lines about life? Should he just coax him to share his experiences? Or just flat-out ask him about his late girlfriend? How about-

He immediately decided to try out his first option and relocated his sunglasses from his head to his collar. "You know, there's this saying in English…' _It is better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all_ '," he stated coolly. Karamatsu expected Chibita to snap at him with a sarcastic remark. Or get reprimanded for "being painful and embarrassing". Or at the very least scoff at him. But the little oden stand owner managed to respond with a tired grunt.

The fluttering wings of an owl echoed in their ears as it gave out a single, mournful hoot.

"Chibita? We can talk about it if you want," Karamatsu suggested with a hint of concern in his voice. "A problem shared is a problem halved, you know."

Chibita half-heartedly looked up at Karamatsu briefly and quickly returned to sulking. "Not really."

Karamatsu wasn't quite sure if he should be glad Chibita finally spoke to him, or sympathetic that his friend was still heartbroken over his loss, and decided to give him a little more time to sort out his clashing thoughts.

The rumbling of a distant, passing train momentarily broke the silence before Karamatsu decided to speak up again.

"Hey, Chibita…"

"What?"

"Mind if I ask you a question?"

"Shoot."

"Please teach me your secret," Karamatsu asked in a barely audible voice.

"Teach you my-?" Chibita paused to scratch his bald head in confusion and irritation. "I've shown you my oden secrets before, the hell do you mean?!"

Karamatsu shot up from his seat and dramatically slammed his hands on the table, which rattled the oden stand. "Teach me how to act around girls!" he exclaimed.

Chibita fell off his seat and doubled over in laughter. "Damn if I know, idjit!" he exclaimed as he got up and patted the dust off his clothing.

"…what?" Karamatsu looked at him with a perplexed, pained sort of expression on his face

"Seriously, I don't know. She's been my first date in ages!" Chibita stated between soaping and rinsing his hands from the small sink he pulled out from the side of his cart. No matter how hard he tried, he can't just wash away the memories. How they ate out, went to the movies, and rode his scooter over to the beach. There and then, she faded into him and into the gentle sea breeze, but not before proclaiming her love for him.

"Then…how did you get her to-" Karamatsu paused upon seeing Chibita raising an eyebrow and scowling at him, which reminded him that Chibita didn't want to talk about his experience. Karamatsu looked away in embarrassment and returned to his slump.

"Really, if anything…don't pour alcohol on a flower, dammit!" Chibita stood up to give him a well-deserved scolding.

"Ah." Karamatsu pondered as he recalled pouring some sort of alcohol on his flower. Was is Hennessey? Heineken even? Hell, he didn't really pay much attention to what he was pouring on it since he was busy chatting up and picturing a cute girl clinging to his arm. He chuckled upon realizing how foolish he was. _Of course flowers require water, not alcohol! It is simple biology, after all._

Chibita surprisingly managed a weak smile for the first time in days. _That fool often gets into terrible situations and yet he pulls through and forgives other people's misgivings easily. Even when his brothers left him for dead, he still went out of his damn way to absolve them with no strings attached._ He would hate to admit it, but he has often been jealous of Karamatsu's perseverance.

An idea strikes Chibita like lightning: he's helped Karamatsu before, or at least tried to get his brothers to care about him in the past, so how much more tedious would it be to help him get a date? After all, there's still plenty of fish in the sea they call Tokyo. He did say something about sharing problems earlier on, didn't he? _Might as well give this idjit a chance._

As if powered by both pity and sympathy, Chibita soon found himself seated beside the lonely man. "If you need help approaching girls, we can at least start working on your lousy pick-up lines," Chibita suggested as he gestured an open palm at him. Normally, Karamatsu would be hurt upon having his self-proclaimed "cool" pick-up lines be called anything but that, and retaliate by putting on his smug persona. Now, he needed all the help that offered his way.

"You'd help me?" Karamatsu uttered in a small, desperate tone as he reached for Chibita's outstretched hand. He was as teary-eyed (and runny-nosed) as the time he cried in front of Chibita at the sushi bar.

"Keh, sure I would. We're both in a crappy situation, so I figured why the hell not?" Chibita patted Karamatsu's hand to comfort him and handed him a tissue. Karamatsu grinned as he looked at Chibita with twinkling optimism in his eyes.

For a while, the crickets' lonely songs weren't as lonely as they sounded before.

Chibita examined Karamatsu's teary-eyed face. Was he blushing? Or was he simply shitfaced? Why was he still holding his-

Chibita's face also grew red when he realized he was still holding Karamatsu's hand and quickly pulled his hands away along with his gaze.

"So, what the hell ever happened to your flower fairy?" Chibita diverted from both the topic and making eye contact with Karamatsu. He figured that Karamatsu was still married to his nagging flower fairy, and secretly hoped he would forget about holding hands with him and leave the oden stand soon enough.

"Let's just say mom had her own way with dealing with my…ex."Karamatsu's voice trailed off as he looked down at his plate of half-eaten oden. He took another sip of his beer as he tried to push away the images: his ex vanishing into thin air as his hazmat-suit-clad mother crashed his wedding with wielding a pair of garden shears and a flamethrower, copious amounts of dead vegetation and ashes where the monstrous flower once stood, and how he sat through emptily to his brothers telling him about how their mother disposed huge trash bags at a dumpster.

Karamatsu sighed.

At least there'll be no one pushing him around for a pint of ice cream when he gets home tonight.

* * *

 **A/N:** And that's that for the first chapter! Sorry if any of the characters seem OOC or if the execution was sloppy, so some constructive criticism would be useful!br /  
Fun fact: It's been quite a while since I wrote any type of story since my college thesis, which has taken quite a toll on my story-writing habit.

Also fun fact: The bit about Karamatsu's ex was inspired by this ask from the askmamamatsuno blog: post/137623326884/what-happened-after-the-flower-fairy-thing


	2. Brotherly advice

Karamatsu kept his hands clasped together as he made his way through the sea of buildings and people. His mind started filling up with the scenarios that took place earlier that day, allowing a familiar sense of rejection and self-loathing to creep its way into the young man, causing his stomach to turn and his eyes to sting once more. He fought back tears as he felt his clammy hands shudder in the cool night breeze.

Karamatsu soon found himself rubbing his hands together in an attempt to emulate the warmth of Chibita's tiny hand on his. He noted the fact that not only Chibita has finally started talking to him, but also over the fact that his friend went out of his way to help him get back on his feet and walk down the path to self-improvement.

It dawned upon him that tonight wasn't the first time Chibita helped him out: the small man did try to get his brothers to value him after the kidnapping incident, and helped him figure out what he wants to do in his life, but they all ended awkwardly. _I can't hold it against him, he did mean well for me after all!_

Karamatsu smirked at the memories and watched the people that passed by, slipping his hands into his pants pockets as his right hand traced the edges of his flip phone, content in knowing that Chibita gave him his phone number so that they can arrange meetups in advance. He recalled how Chibita's hands were surprisingly warm and comforting as his words and soon found himself unable to stop replaying the moment in his head over and over, which allowed the pang in his stomach to subside. It's as if the event tonight at the oden cart filled him with a sense of security and newfound confidence.

The young man lifted his head to gaze at the stars, which glowed brightly against the vast night sky. He felt his face glow as well, as if the stars were blessing him with their stardust. He maintained his walking speed, making slow but careful strides as he basked in the moment.

Minutes later, Karamatsu nearly trips on a wayward rock, causing him to glance instinctively to his right.

Home.

Karamatsu took a deep breath as he fished for a skull-patterned black handkerchief from his left pants pocket and dabbed his eyes dry for good measure. He pushed his sunglasses back in place along with any intrusive thoughts, straightened his back, and sauntered through the front door.

"I'm home, my brothers!" Karamatsu announced as he entered the house, slipped out of his shoes and into the living room, where he found Osomatsu and Choromatsu by the table, reading comics and idol magazines respectively, Jyushimatsu rolling around the floor laughing, while Ichimatsu huddled in a corner with ESP Kitty as Todomatsu tried to take multiple selfies with him. They all stopped to glance at the second sextuplet and greeted him.

"Hey, Sinful Man!"

"Shittymatsu…"

" _Guilt guy_ is back." Todomatsu nodded and promptly went back to typing on his phone.

Osomatsu dropped his comic book carelessly on the table, nearly disrupting Choromatsu, and scanned his brother from head to toe. His hair was as neat and tidy as he had combed it a hundred times this morning, not a single speck of dust or dirt clinging to his favorite leather jacket, and his pants were as painful and sparkly as ever before, with no sequin missing or out of place.

"I'm surprised Chibita hasn't tortured you this time," he mused as he rubbed his nose with his finger. "Heh, I guess he realized that he can no longer hurt a man as dashing as I am." Karamatsu put on a smug grin as he closed his eyes and struck a dramatic pose. As expected, his brothers snorted and gagged at his remark before proceeding to shoot scathing remarks down his way.

"Are you drunk?"

"Which deep pit of hell did that come from?!"

"Oh my god, Shittymatsu."

Karamatsu made a smug face and crossed his arms as he wedged himself between Osomatsu and Choromatsu, who both inched a bit in opposite directions so that their brother had room to sit.

"So…any luck on Karamatsu Girls today?" Choromatsu inquired, looking up from his magazine. "Not today," Karamatsu lowered his voice and his head as he placed a hand on his chest for emphasis. "That's too bad," Choromatsu replied, burying his face back into his idol magazine.

"Here's your problem," Todomatsu started, looking up from his phone. "You look like you fell into an 80's thrift shop bin."

The whole room roared with laughter, especially Ichimatsu and his bespectacled orange cat. Todomatsu covered his giggle with a hand and mentally patted himself on the back for the quip.

The stinging sensation resurfaced in Karamatsu's eyes and blurred his vision. If it weren't for his shades, his brothers would witness his humiliated state and mock him even more. _How dare his youngest brother insult his "Perfect Fashion", the very one he put together after countless hours of studying his magazines and trips to multiple stores? How dare did his dear brothers pick on him for trying his best? How dare-_

Karamatsu clenched his fists and tried to swallow the lump that formed in his throat. In the deepest pit of his heart, he longed to retaliate against Todomatsu and spew out equally degrading and humiliating remarks about his lifestyle; but that's just going against his personal code of being cool, the Karamatsu Code! As an older brother and a good role model, he's not supposed to act out against his brothers unless absolutely necessary.

Speaking of his personal code…

Despite the fact that he devoted as many hours as he did on his fashion magazines, Karamatsu's efforts into studying, taking note of passages, and religiously applying the various pieces of advice on how to be cool not only fell flat, but shattered his hopes. _His brothers were right. 90 to 95 percent of his methods often ended in failure, be it in the form of being ignored or humiliated._ So there's no denying that there might be certain flaws in his personal code.

 _As the saying goes, desperate times call for desperate measures._ Karamatsu's already gotten Chibita to back him up, and in his heart and mind he's sworn to be eternally grateful to the tiny bald man. He soon found his fingers on the hard plastic casing of his phone, hoping for Chibita to distract him with a text.

 _I need all the help I could get right now. So why not turn to my brothers for help as well, if they know what's good for me? That's what family is for, after all. And imagine how impressed Chibita would be if I made the first step to improve myself and save him a lot of trouble!_

The text didn't come to console him.

A full 5 minutes passed before the laughter died down, starting with Choromatsu, then Osomatsu, and the rest followed suit.

" _Brothers_ , I have a realization," Karamatsu confessed, swiping off his sunglasses for emphasis.

"I'm glad you took my advice to think more often! Didn't expect that from you!" Osomatsu exclaimed.

"It has occurred to me that I do require your help on a certain matter." Karamatsu paused dramatically as his brothers looked on, impatiently waiting for his announcement.

"Help me…teach me how to pick up girls!" Karamatsu finally exclaimed. Everyone's jaws dropped one by one, save for Jyushimatsu's since his mouth was always open.

A livid Ichimatsu shot up from the corner, shaking ESP Kitty off his lap and nearly knocking Todomatsu to the floor. "Oh. My God." Ichimatsu bolted outside the room and retreated to their bedroom upstairs, screaming "THE END IS NEAR!"

"Whooooooaaaa!" The remaining brothers exclaimed in unison.

"Wait…you're kidding, right?" Osomatsu asked skeptically.

Karamatsu simply hook his head.

"Looks like he is serious, guys." Osomatsu faced his brothers, who were still processing the events that have just transpired. Ichimatsu's muffled cries penetrated from the ceiling and into the brothers' ears.

The initial buzz from the brothers died down as Choromatsu spoke up, "Why the sudden realization?"

"Yeah, why?" Todomatsu put on a skeptical face as he stashed away his phone in his pocket.

"I believe I have found the reason people say that I'm so painful," Karamatsu bowed his head.

A bloodcurdling screech escaped from Ichimatsu and rocked the living room below, followed by what sounded to be fists pounding on their bedroom floor complemented by incomprehensive muttering. Chills ran down the remaining 4 brothers' spines as they stared at Karamatsu in shock.

"G-go on…tell us…" Choromatsu stammered.

Karamatsu took a deep breath. "Every time I keep at it and stay true to myself, people are put off. Which means it's time for me to undergo a drastic change!"

The four brothers could only stare at him speechlessly.

"So dear brothers…thank you for your undying efforts on leading me towards the light!" the now teary-eyed Karamatsu got to his feet and closed in on his three brothers for a group hug. The three could only force smiles as they shot each other frantic glances, begging each other to free them from the second brother's awkward embrace.

Finally, Osomatsu broke the silence and congratulated his younger brother with a pat on the back. "I'm proud that you've actually figured it out by yourself!"

Karamatsu released his brothers from his embrace and fished for the note inside one of his jacket's pockets. "Truth be told, it is our dear Chibita who helped me figure out what I want to do with my life on that fated day at the oden stand!" At the slight of Karamatsu's hand, a piece of paper unfolded and dangled right before the brother's eyes. The following words were written in blue ink:

wants to better self

wants to give people dreams

world peace

"Gross," Osomatsu, Choromatsu, and Todomatsu chimed in unison as Jyushimatsu nodded in agreement.

Choromatsu raised a finger to interject. "Wait a minute, are you sure that Chibita's actually encouraging you to change your ima-" Before he could get his message across, Choromatsu soon had Todomatsu's hands whisk him away into a huddle with the eldest brother.

"Shush!" Todomatsu hushed his older brother. "This could finally be our chance to make him less annoying! Don't you want that?"

"Uh, what?"

Osomatsu shot a puzzled look towards his brothers as he ran his index finger below his nose. "What the heck, are you serious?" he whispered. "Dead serious! Besides, he's pleading us to help him change!" Todomatsu reassured them. He then raised his head to check on Karamatsu, who just put on a more relaxed version of one of his many "cool guy" poses.

"So what do you say?" Todomatsu watched his brother in anticipation.

Choromatsu nodded, sealing the deal.

"Count me in."

* * *

Later that night, the sextuplets were dozing off in their shared futon.

Save for one.

Karamatsu sat cross-legged on the green sofa, holding a pen-sized flashlight between his lips. The light shone on a small journal, allowing him to jot down his experiences amidst the dark.

Today's entry he aptly titled "A Tale of Loss", written in his signature blue ink. He opened the entry with today's attempts at finding Karamatsu Girls, recalling how each girl would snub him in various ways; followed by his encounter with Chibita at the oden stand: he alluded Chibita's warmly-lit stand to a beacon of light cutting through a dense fog, and how he felt the tiny bald man's saving grace as he comforted him, especially when their hands met. On his way home, he mused about how he glowed upon realizing that he can always try again and rely on Chibita's advice, only to be shot down by his brothers making fun of his appearance. Crestfallen as he was, he had no choice but to cast aside all that he's known in order to "better himself". It is the very first item on the list Chibita handed him a few months back, after all.

Karamatsu put away his pen in his journal's special holder before he shut it close, concluding yet another chapter of his so-called "Heartbreak Soap Opera".

He took some time to admire the black leather cover of his journal, and eyed the creases leading up to the skull logo on the middle, the same one often found on his leather jackets and belt buckles. Karamatsu often felt proud and confident with his "cool guy" image and bought several accessories to reaffirm this, but…to throw it all away? He would not dare think of such a thing! _But if it's for the name of love…_

Karamatsu sighed, turned off his flashlight, stuffed it beneath one of the couch cushions (along with his journal), and decided to call it a day. As he was about to stand up, he spied Ichimatsu hogging his space on the futon with his arms and legs sprawled out starfish-style. There's no way he can reclaim his space without being smothered to death by his younger brother's pillow and insults, so he had no choice but to retreat to the couch.

As he dropped his head on his pillow, the thoughts did not. Despite forcing his eyes shut, images of his brothers' faces swarmed in on him like vultures circling a carcass; their comments resonated within his head. _You're so painful! You look like you fell into an 80's thrift shop bin. Why were you born?! What the hell are you weari-_

For the nth time that day, tears started welling up in Karamatsu's eyes as a new thought poked at his mind. _Maybe if the ground decided to swallow me up alive, I wouldn't be such a pain to others_ , he thought as he turned and faced away from the sight of his brothers dozing on the floor, hoping to drift into a peaceful slumber soon.

Karamatsu's eyes jolted open as he felt his phone vibrate softly under his pillow. He reached for his phone and flipped it open, allowing the screen to cast a soft glow on his face. His heart raced and his eyes widened upon seeing the name of the sender: _Chibita._

 _hey idiot, i hope youre doing all right._  
 _please take care of yourself!_  
 _and dont do any funny stuff ok?_

* * *

 **A/N:** I'm actually happy I managed to make this chapter longer than the last one. I wanted to test Karamatsu's character here, so I guess you can consider this a character study of sorts? I'm sorry if it's OOC; again, please let me know how I'm doing with my fanfic so far, comments and constructive criticism is encouraged and welcomed! Thank you for reading!

***  
Fact: Karamatsu's journal name, "Karamatsu's Heartbreak Soap Opera", is based off the song "Teenage Soap Opera" by Helen Love. Listen to it here: watch?v=lkIZkfh8otw

Other random fact: I personally want to avoid using the word "crestfallen" since I've seen it be used in about a hundred different fanfics, but Karamatsu being Karamatsu, I want him to sound dramatic haha


	3. Makeover

**A/N:** THIS IS THE MOST BISEXUAL CHAPTER IN THE SERIES  
Karamatsu's a guilt guy more like guilt bi ahaha

TW: for a brief description of mild violence and a reference to suicide in this chapter.

* * *

Upon opening his eyes, Todomatsu had it all figured out for today.

The birds singing outside the window coaxed him to rise from the futon without rousing any of his brothers. Todomatsu washed his face and changed clothes in the bathroom, put on his pink sneakers, dashed out his house to kickstart the day by taking a quick jog around the neighborhood. Lively tunes poured out from his headphones and into his ears as the beats accompanied him to the tempo of his steps. He tried to make sense of the lyrics with every pace he made as a gust of wind blew a wayward leather jacket towards him and smothered his face. Todomatsu screamed and clawed at the jacket suffocating him.

Todomatsu opened his eyes; everything was still dark, and he felt something sinister weighing down on his face and belly. He screamed and instinctively reached for his face and frantically flailed his arms and legs in an attempt to get the assailant off of him.

The last thing he needed today was a pillow smothering him in the face with a side of insults served his way.

The expression on Ichimatsu's face softened upon hearing the youngest brother's high pitched voice, realized he had made a grave mistake and quickly removed the pillow from Todomatsu's face.

"ICHIMATSU, WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT FOR?!" Todomatsu wailed as tears started beading up in the corners of his eyes, and grabbed onto his own pillow for comfort.

"I… thought you were Shittymatsu …" Ichimatsu's voice trailed off and dropped to his knees to bow in apology. Todomatsu's eyes darted from Ichimatsu, looked around the room for the second brother, and landed on the couch.

"Seriously?! Shittymatsu is over there!" Todomatsu hastily pointed at the blanketed figure on the couch. Disgusted with himself, Ichimatsu proceeded to launch his pillow at Karamatsu's head, eliciting no response whatsoever.

"What the hell is this commotion?" Osomatsu said as he sat up and scratched his head, instinctively glancing at the alarm clock on the bookshelf. "It's like…8 A.M."

"GOOD MORNING!" Jyushimatsu sprang up like a wind-up toy, and glanced at his brothers with his trademark grin.

"Great." Choromatsu grumbled, rubbing his eyes.

The room filled with morning lull, yawns escaping the brothers' mouths as they exchanged looks. Apart from Todomatsu and Ichimatsu, the others made a silent headcount and scanned the room. All eyes eventually spot Karamatsu on the couch, staring daggers at him for disrupting their slumber.

Ichimatsu could only glare and hiss softly at Karamatsu, recalling his older brother's remark on wanting to change from the night before.

Karamatsu's chest heaved beneath the blankets, and the longer Todomatsu glared at him, the more he felt like his older brother's every breath was pumping irritation into his system. "Dammit Karamatsu, wake up!" Todomatsu swatted his older brother with a pillow repeatedly. "We have to go out today!"

"Hn?" Karamatsu stirred under the covers and squinted over his shoulder.

"C'mon! Choromatsu and I have planned a surprise excursion for you! Let's go!" Todomatsu chirped excitedly, tugging Choromatsu by the arm.

"Huh?" Choromatsu stood up and shot a puzzled look at the youngest brother. "Oh yeah…" He rubbed the back of his head to shake away the sleep.

Karamatsu perked up at the word "surprise", and looked back on the events that transpired the night before, hoping he would have another shot at getting a date as he worked on self-improvement.

* * *

After breakfast, Todomatsu and Choromatsu took turns fixing themselves up in the bathroom, with Todomatsu being the first, followed by Choromatsu. While his brothers were busy taking turns in the bathroom, Karamatsu looked through the closet to put together the perfect outfit. Now if only he could find any good clothes…

Unable to find any good co-ords, Karamatsu soon found himself inside the bathroom, following his daily morning ritual down to a pat. He made sure that his face was washed thoroughly, and found no need to shave since he already did that yesterday. Next he ran a comb through his hair a hundred times on every parted side. He always kept count of every stroke he made, and gave his fringe an extra fifty strokes ensuring its tidiness.

He reached for his color contacts, only to have his fingertips brush against the tiled wall. Although confused and disappointed upon seeing that his contacts were missing, Karamatsu decided that he can go without them anyway. Next, he reached for the custom made eyebrow templates and went over his brows (his defining trait) with an eyebrow pencil, and sealed it with some eyebrow coat in order to preserve the look. Lastly, he put on some deodorant and cologne for extra measure.

He stared at himself in the mirror and pondered on his today's outfit as he tugged on his binder underneath his tank top; ensuring that it fit him snugly. Should he go for his regular cool guy outfit again? Or will that just doom him to repeat yesterday's mistakes? Despite the rude awakening he received from his brother, he felt his confidence seep back inside him, on top of the fact he had Chibita's support. Maybe he ought to try out the sparkly tank top – jean shorts – sparkly shoes combo he wore on the day he and his brother Todomatsu tried Hatabo's mystery meat yakiniku at the fishing center. Only if he could find it! While Todomatsu and Choromatsu were getting ready in the bathroom, he spent all the time looking for his flashier outfits, but to no avail. However, he did find that his usual leather jackets, plain tank tops and jeans remained untouched in their shared closet.

After brushing his teeth, he planned for the finishing touch. He reached for peppermint lip balm sitting beside Todomatsu's own bubblegum lip balm, and slicked it across his lips, the pressure of which made his lips get a faint, pinkish tinge. Other than the fact that he and Todomatsu were both concerned with chapped lips, the stars told him that today would be the day he might score himself a date.

Karamatsu took a deep breath, straightened his back, set his feet wide apart, put his left hand on his hip, and topped off his pose with a smirk.

As if he memorized a script, he pointed at his reflection with his free hand and started his positive self-affirmation with a line he came up with in English.

" _You're neat, you're smart, now go out there and win everybody's hea-_ "

Somebody started pounding on the bathroom door. "Are you waiting for the next ice age? Let's get going!" Todomatsu called out impatiently.

The door swung open, revealing Karamatsu still in his white tank top and boxers.

"You haven't gotten dressed yet?!" Todomatsu exclaimed.

"I seem to have misplaced my dazzling garments. My tank tops! Pants! Shoes!" Karamatsu said.

"They're in the laundry," Todomatsu lied effortlessly, elbowing his older brother in the side. "Right, Choromatsu?"

"Right!" Choromatsu nodded as he played along with Todomatsu's scheme.

"Looks like I have to make do today," Karamatsu told nobody in particular, and retreated to the closet.

* * *

"So, tell me. Where we are headed on a beautiful day like this?" Karamatsu asked airly, as the three of them stepped out of the underground railway passage and into the streets. The second eldest brother felt that lady luck was on his side today as he proudly wore his usual cool guy getup, except he was wearing jeans instead of last night's sequin pants.

The youngest brother rolled his eyes, gathering all the patience in his body to avoid snapping at his older brother's cheesy remark, inhaled softly and put on a smile as he recalled that losing one's temper can quickly add wrinkles on the face. "There's this shopping area one of my online buddies were talking about a few days ago." Todomatsu flashed his smartphone at his older brothers, showing them an article and an image of the aforementioned shopping area. "They told me there's a weekend sale, and today's the last day!"

"So, what else is so special about this place?" Choromatsu wondered.

"Ugh, do you guys live under a rock?" Todomatsu scowled at the two of them, stashing his phone away in his pocket. "It's the trendiest shopping district right now! It's such a shame you two don't know since people our age flock to it."

The trio navigated the district, making their way through the concrete jungle, the buildings towering over them like ancient trees.

Plenty of people were also out and about on a bright Sunday morning; throngs of young adults and teenagers alike pulled stroller bags, presumably on their way to Harajuku. Groups of well-dressed women laughed joyfully as they exchanged stories, couples stopped by and browsed through a few displays set out on the sidewalks. A few bands decked out in all black and bizarre fashion caught the attention of the trio. Most of the members carried guitar cases, drums, and other equipment for their upcoming shows, meeting up on every other corner of the general area.

Big-name brands and designer stores lined the district in neat rows, drawing in the morning crowd. There were at least two Starbucks branches in the area, people poured out of the stores clutching coffee cups like they've won a trophy, and even more people flooded the shops competing for their orders.

Karamatsu observed that the people of this district were pretty fashionable and confident; they were poised, elegant, current. He's yet to see an individual who hasn't have their head held up high or had some bounce in their step.

If anything, it was as if Todomatsu could find a second home in such an upbeat and trendy place like this.

The trio passed by a group of girls chatting, most of whom stared at Todomatsu and greeted him with waving arms and giggles. "Ah, _good morning_!" Karamatsu greeted them in English. Upon noticing Karamatsu, their smiles and upbeat demeanor were replace by scowls and looks of disappointment. Barely any of them gave Choromatsu any attention, deeming him too plain for their tastes. However, half of the ladies did a double-take once they've passed by the brothers and found it unbelievable that the three were identical.

A colorful arch of balloons decorating a new bookstore's entrance caught Todomatsu's eye, setting a lightbulb off in his head.

"Hey, let's check out this bookstore!" He pointed out.

Both Karamatsu and Choromatsu exchanged looks, knowing that their brother would never dare lift a finger to read anything other than the text messages and IMs on his phone, or the occasional magazine.

After they have been acknowledged by a cheerful saleslady, the trio agreed that Choromatsu would handle their funds to avoid overspending and that they should meet up by the magazine stands when they're done browsing. They split up, and headed off into different sections of the store; Choromatsu fled for the sections he knew were jam-packed with idol picture books, Todomatsu hung around near the magazine stands and struck a conversation with the cashier, whom Karamatsu thought was kind of cute (with the way her lips curled into a smile and made way for dimples), he decided against making a move on her (so as not to ruin his younger brothers' chances at _love_ ) and slinked away into the romance section.

Karamatsu started his search for books that could help him boost his chances of scoring a date, thumbing through various titles within the shelves of the romance section. A translated novel, titled "Passions of Xanxor", caught his eye; it had an alien woman pointing a laser gun at an unseen foe as she cradled a man in her other pair of arms. Karamatsu's eyes shone and admired the alien lady, picturing himself in the place of the man in her arms. He immediately placed the book in his basket and resumed his search for the perfect dating guide.

Minutes crawl by and after browsing through a few titles, Karamatsu stumbled upon a book of phrases and pick-up lines.

He cracked the book open to a random page, the first passage to greet him was:

 _You: May I have directions?_

 _Them: Where to?_

 _You: Directions to your heart._

Beautiful! The line moved Karamatsu, who took a mental note to use the line within the day, and immediately decided to take the book from the shelf without a second thought. He wondered what girl would appreciate his line and started to picture her in his mind as he hummed a tune, rummaging through the shelves in search of more books.

About fifteen minutes have passed when both Karamatsu and Choromatsu came out of their respective areas of interest to join Todomatsu, who was placing fashion and lifestyle magazines by the cashier. Upon the arrival of the two brothers, Todomatsu inspected his Karamatsu's selection of reading materials and cringed; he didn't bat an eyelash at Choromatsu's limited edition Nyaa-chan photobook and exclusive biography, though.

"Seriously?" Todomatsu said, still eyeing Karamatsu's choice in literature. "You're actually getting that book? I didn't know you had a giant alien dominatrix kink!"

" _Non, non_." Karamatsu wagged an index finger at him. "My heart fluttered when I saw the alien lady on the cover. I'd love to get acquainted first and learn her sto-."

"You're worse than Fappymatsu!" Todomatsu interrupted Karamatsu accusingly.

"Hey! I thought we were over that!" Choromatsu exclaimed huffily, still mad about his brothers picking on him for his habits.

"Shut up, Rising Chorofappyski!" Todomatsu squealed.

Not later, the two brothers started bickering about each others' flaws and odd quirks, leaving Karamatsu to his own devices. From the corner of his eye, a monochrome-clad figure outside the store caught his attention.

A bespectacled gothic young lady in a black and white striped dress, reading a book whilst leaning against the planters.

Karamatsu didn't know where to start. Her hair was a neat, shoulder-length raven bob, accentuating the shape of her face. Her noticeably matte black lips were pulled into a frown as her jet black eyes focused on the pages before her, studying the lines carefully.

She's got impeccable taste in fashion.

Karamatsu breathed, and adjusted his sunglasses. How would one go about approaching her? He felt his pulse quicken and used his handkerchief to dab away beads of sweat from his forehead. _Perhaps if I utilize that awe-inspiring passage from the book, a well-versed lady such as her might appreciate my wit!_

He calmly approached her.

"Pardon me."

The young lady looked up from her book to raise an eyebrow at him. "Can I help you?" she asked as she stashed her book away in her purse.

"May I have directions?"

"To?"

"Directions…" Karamatsu paused, focusing on the line he had seen earlier from the book. "Directions to your h-"

"Excuse you." A voice cut through his pick-up line, their shadow looming over Karamatsu, who turned his head to face them.

A shaggy-haired man about 6 feet tall towered over both Karamatsu and the woman.

At a loss for words, Karamatsu looked up to gawk at the man, who was decked in aviator sunglasses, a gray tank top, ripped jeans, and boots. He looked like he could be one of the models out of the magazines Karamatsu reads, or one of those guitarists from a 1970's rock band.

The fact that he wore the exact type of leather jacket as him was the icing on the cake.

Karamatsu's heart pounded in his chest as he felt his face grow warm, blood rushing to his cheeks. The taller man leaned in to inspect Karamatsu from head to toe, then turned to the woman and wrapped an arm across her shoulder.

"Is he bothering you, babe?"

The woman raised an eyebrow towards Karamatsu's general direction as if to judge him.

Karamatsu's knees turned to butter as he struggled to keep himself standing up.

"Well, are you?" the man lowered his sunglasses to look at Karamatsu in the eye. If the man ever beat him up, Karamatsu would actually thank him for doing so.

Karamatsu opened his mouth to speak up, but found himself unable to utter a single word. He, a mere mortal, was lucky enough to be in the presence of such divine beings, let alone speak to them! With mouth agape and face red, he just stood there gazing at the couple, who were now holding hands.

"Thought so."

Two pairs of hands dragged Karamatsu away from the couple, much to their relief.

"What the hell was that?" Todomatsu scolded his older brother, grabbing him by the ear.

Instead of turning his head to reply, Karamatsu's eyes were still glued to the couple.

"Let's get you out of here before you embarrass yourself any more!" Choromatsu put an arm around Karamatsu to help Todomatsu usher him out of the area.

Those words struck Karamatsu. What about his motives were embarrassing? Did he do anything wrong? Or did they sense that he was admiring someone of the same gender? Thoughts raced to and fro inside Karamatsu's head, preventing him from concentrating on his brothers conversing with him.

 _If I ever admitted I found another man attractive, would my brothers think I'm embarrassing? I mean, I've already come out to them a year after Ichimatsu came out as transgender, and they were perfectly fine with that!_

As they walked on by, Karamatsu's eyes darted from one face to another. Each particular face he noticed evoked the same emotion he encountered with the couple outside the bookstore: a petite girl in a fuchsia dress sporting a full fringe of hair, a well-toned guy in a letterman jacket, a punk musician type with angry brows, a tall willowy model in a floral print blouse. He wondered what it would be like talking to them let alone spend a day with them. Just the thought of facing one of them sent shivers down his spine, and made his knees weak once more.

Karamatsu checked his reflection in his mirror and instinctively reached for his fringe and ran fingers through them.

 _Is my hair okay? Am I dashing enough for anyone?_

"You really need to take that jacket off, Shittymatsu! It's cutting off the oxygen supply to your brain!" Todomatsu chided on his brother and disrupted his thoughts. "Besides, my weather app said it's going to be quite warm out."

"H-heh…" Karamatsu lowered his head, swiftly removed his jacket in two swipes, and distractedly draped it over his shoulder with one hand.

"Hey! Watch where you swing your jacket!" Todomatsu slapped the jacket away from his face. "I don't need your painfulness suffocating me again!" There's no way he wants a repeat of his nightmare!

"Eh?" Karamatsu cocked his head and blinked at his brother in confusion.

"Nothing! Just keep your jacket away from me at all costs!"

"How about we get something to drink?" Choromatsu suggested as he ran the back of his head over his sweaty forehead.

"I'll check for something good nearby!" Todomatsu tapped on his phone, hoping to get input from both his buddies and his search results.

Noontime arrived, sending out a sea of people. The trio elbowed and dodged their way through the human waves. With more and more people passing through, Karamatsu got separated from his brothers, and in an attempt to quicken his pace, he accidentally bumped into a scruffy, taller guy toting a guitar case, who quickly offered a hand to help him up.

"Sorry, mister, are you oka-" the guitarist stopped halfway through his sentence and inspected the other guy in front of him.

 _He looked familiar._ Karamatsu's heart stopped upon connecting the dots inside his head, and recognized the other man.

"Karamatsu?"

Karamatsu might as well drop dead, because he's standing in front of the intimidatingly gorgeous upperclassman he knew back in high school. He remembered how he would often visit the music club to see him practice when there was nothing going on in the drama club.

Four more people dressed in the same fashion waved at him from afar and called out his stage name.

"My band! I gotta go. Later!" the scruffy guitarist waved at Karamatsu and his brothers.

Todomatsu watched the guitarist disappear into a corner with his bandmates. "Hey, wasn't that Hideo from the music club in high school?" he turned to ask his older brothers.

"I guess he's got a band now, huh?" Choromatsu noted. "Pretty interesting, huh Karamatsu?"

Karamatsu could only stare at his own hand, face all red.

* * *

Once inside a café, the trio had some time to unwind, chat, and eat, allowing Karamatsu an hour to gather his thoughts. The other two's conversation became an inaudible buzz in the background to Karamatsu's inner musings. Karamatsu could only react with hm's and mhm's as he blankly used a fork to push the meatballs around on his plate of spaghetti.

There's plenty of beautiful women out there of all shapes and sizes and Karamatsu was pretty sure that he's interested in them. But damn, there were so many handsome men out there too! _What is this feeling?_

Later, the three brothers stepped out of the café, satiated by the assorted drinks and light lunches served to them. They discussed what else they could see and do within the district, and left out the high-end stores off their mental list of places to visit, knowing that they could barely afford anything inside them.

As they passed by a kitchenware store, Karamatsu hovered around the window display, eyeing a black tumbler with a skull on it.

He could have sworn it was love first at sight.

"Don't you have enough items with skulls on it?" Todomatsu reminded his older brother.

Choromatsu joined in and started enumerating his older brother's skull-decked items. "Your jackets and belts, your mobile phone, your wallet, your bags, your tissue bo-"

"If you buy any more items and accessories with skulls on them, people are going to think you have an unhealthy obsession with death!" Todomatsu teased Karamatsu.

"Or maybe he's just affirming his identity as a bad boy. Weren't you supposed to be distancing yourself from that?" Choromatsu reminded his older brother.

"Who cares? It's painful and terrifying at the same time!" Todomatsu objected as he cringed, inching away from Karamatsu, who adjusted his sunglasses and mused:

"Fate brought us together on this warm Sunday afternoon."

"No it didn't!" Todomatsu and Choromatsu exclaimed in unison.

Karamatsu lowered his head and put a hand across his chest for emphasis. "If I don't buy it right away, who knows when our paths will cross again?"

"What the hell does that mean?!"

"Are you telling me someone's gonna buy it before you do or the stocks might run out quickly?" Choromatsu clarified.

Karamatsu nodded.

"Fine," Choromatsu sighed as he took out his wallet to slip a bill at Karamatsu. He could've sworn he saw his brother's eyes light up behind his sunglasses. "We'll wait for you here."

After finding the tumbler through the maze of plastic, ceramic, and silverware, Karamatsu triumphantly traced his steps back to the cashier with his item in hand.

"Oi, Karamatsu!" a familiar voice called to him, footsteps following behind them. Karamatsu turned his head towards the source.

"Chibita!" his eyes lit up upon spotting Chibita, his heart skipping a beat as he nearly dropped his item.

The next thing he knew was his elbow crashed into a display rack of plastic containers, sending them cascading to the floor.

Luckily, Chibita hurled himself forward with his arms raised, not only preventing most of the containers from tumbling to the floor, but also trapping Karamatsu in a semi-embrace.

Their eyes met for a moment.

Karamatsu's heart raced once again as he turned to stone between Chibita's arms. He kept noting the rich, dark brown hue of Chibita's eyes, and his cute little upturned nose.

 _Cute?_

"The hell?! You idjit! Dammit!" Chibita exclaimed between clenched teeth, breaking off his gaze.

"You gotta be more careful, idjit!" Chibita grabbed a hold of Karamatsu's arms and gripped him forward to prevent losing balance and falling backwards into the display. He also took off Karamatsu's lopsided sunglasses so he could see better, and folded it. Karamatsu was blushing the whole time, even though he snapped back to reality.

"Anyway…didn't think I'd see you here!" Chibita exclaimed as he finished fixing Karamatsu's sunglasses onto his shirt collar.

"Heh, it was _destiny_ ," Karamatsu mused, relishing in pleasantry of their meeting.

"Geez, you can at least save your embarrassing lines for when you visit my cart, idjit." Chibita gave Karamatsu a mock punch on his arm out of irritation, eliciting a chuckle from him. A few seconds later, Karamatsu's smile faded.

"Chibita?"

"Hm?"

"Thank you for the talk last night…" Karamatsu's voice trailed off, his cool guy voice fading in to his real one. "You really meant that text?"

"Yeah! Friends check on each other, right?" Chibita reassured him, and paused to glance at his shopping bag, then back at Karamatsu.

"Hey… I was worried back there," he continued. "I've heard way too much about people who…don't take rejection really well and they…sought out 'permanent' solutions, if you know wh-"

The ringing of a mobile phone cut their conversation short. Chibita dug into his pocket and retrieved his flip phone, buzzing in his palm.

"Gotta take this outside. See you later, Kara-boy!" Chibita waved goodbye at Karamatsu as he left the shop with his phone wedged between his ear and shoulder. Karamatsu overheard Chibita talk over the phone. "Catering? This Tuesday? Well…"

A familiar knot formed in the pit of his stomach.

* * *

Todomatsu eyes sparkled upon seeing a branch of his favorite clothing brand, grabbed his brothers by their arms, and dragged them towards it. Inside the store were pastel and soft, light-colored clothes, hats, shoes, and accessories, all hanging neatly from racks and displays.

After being greeted by the saleslady, cashier, and bouncy bubblegum pop tunes, the three brothers set out to browse the racks for anything that might catch their interest.

Karamatsu gravitated towards a silky, powder-blue button-up shirt and presented it to his brothers.

"Too flashy!" Todomatsu immediately rejected the article of clothing with a single glance. Choromatsu could only hum and nod.

Karamatsu swapped his leather jacket for a bulky, faux-fur coat and strutted in front of his brothers.  
"Too hot for the season!" they chorused in disappointment.

Karamatsu flashed a tank top with the cursive word "cool" decorated with blue sequins.  
Todomatsu dropped his shoulders in exhaustion. "You've got to be kidding me," he deadpanned.

"Know what? Just get inside the dressing room, we'll pick your outfits for you!" Todomatsu prodded Karamatsu towards the dressing rooms.

The inside of the dressing room reminded him of his drama club days; heavy velvet curtains served as the door separating the room from the shop, and brightly illuminated bulbs lined the edges of the full-body mirror. How he missed sitting front of those vanity mirrors having his makeup done or rehearsing lines for a show!

Meanwhile, Todomatsu thumbed through the pages of his fashion magazine, occasionally looking up to direct Choromatsu to pick through the clothing racks for anything that might work. They spoke in hushed tones to make fun of Karamatsu's fashion sense, taking turns impersonating their older brother as they described the clothes in an exaggerated manner.

Back at the dressing room, Todomatsu's hand disrupted Karamatsu's round of reminiscing, clutching a top for him to try on.

A pastel blue polo shirt.

Karamatsu wasn't one for polo shirts, let alone pastels. The last time he tried wearing pastels was for a dare during drama club. He traded his Casanovan role for a lowerclassman's more youthful, upbeat one. The younger student looked goofy pretending to be an older lover boy as Karamatsu tried his best to act peppy. The oddity of it all was amplified by the laughter that erupted from the other members of the club, making Karamatsu feel more alien.

Stripped down to his binder and boxers, Karamatsu stared at his reflection in the mirror, then at the polo in his hands with uncertainty. Was he ready to embrace this change?

With every top and pairs of bottoms shoved inside the dressing room, Karamatsu felt his life force depleting, as if everybody tugged and pulled at him to change, the way he tugged and pulled at the sleeves and hems.

His phone beeped from the pocket of his jeans, which was hanging on a hook. After opening his phone, he was greeted by a follow-up text from Chibita, saying that they can't start with their session on either Monday or Tuesday since he needs time to prepare for a catering request for a party on Tuesday.

Karamatsu sighed.

Finally, after what seemed like an eternity of swapping clothing inside the dressing room, Karamatsu was out in his own clothes. Todomatsu and Choromatsu agreed on a few co-ords for him and even paid for a ¥1000 beige fedora with a sky blue band to go with the rest of Karamatsu's new clothes.

"I can't believe I'm actually saying this but I can't wait to show off the 'New You' to my friends!" Todomatsu beamed at Karamatsu, who was now carrying a few shopping bags on his arm.

"If you're not doing anything tomorrow, you can tag along to this meetup I have with one of my circles," he added. Todomatsu's smile turned into a scowl. "Leave your painfulness behind, okay? I do NOT want you messing this up."

Karamatsu grinned as he felt the weight of the shopping bags tugging at his arms.

 _Transformation is a blessing disguised as a curse._

 _Beauty comes with suffering-_

"C'mon, I saw some more clothes next door!" Todomatsu enthusiastically pulled at both his brothers' arms towards the store nearby.

 _Great._

* * *

 **A/N:** It's kind of hard to write makeover scenes involving male characters because there's not a lot of emphasis on them. Or is it because I haven't been exposed to enough makeover scenes involving men?

I also had a hard time writing about Karamatsu seeing and reacting to people he found attractive. Maybe it's because I'm aromantic and I have a hard time coming to terms with matters involving romance?


	4. To better himself

**A/N:** Okay, spoiler alert but HUGE trigger warning for themes of suicide, and a bit of gender dysphoria in this one. And a disclaimer: I have depression and anxiety, and I am currently seeing psychiatrist.  
Lastly, please feel free to point out grammar mistakes, misspellings, or redundant words, as I do not have a proofreader for my work! It is greatly appreciated!

* * *

Karamatsu's Heartbreak Soap Opera

Chapter Title: Metamorphosis

My dear journal,

My beauty slumber was interrupted by my beloved brother Totty hitting me with a pillow excitedly. He badly wanted me and Choromatsu to go out with him and explore a fashionable district one train's ride away from Akatsuka.

I have never been surrounded by so many elegant places and faces. All genders out there I've seen were ethereal, their beauty surpassing that of deities! I managed to face such a couple but I was far too insignificant for them to be considered one of their kind.

Perhaps if I step up my beauty regimen on my way to the path to "better myself" and take some pointers from Todomatsu, then I'll gain the affections of the adoring public! For now, I am well-equipped with clothing that my youngest brother had expertly picked out for me with his impeccable fashion sense.

Shopping with him brought back memories of my high school drama club, not necessarily those of the pleasant kind. I resent that sentiment, for me and my brother's sake. Plus, my hard work involving self-improvement must have been paying off since my dear brother Totty invited me to one of his social gatherings tomorrow!

-The one and only, Karamatsu

* * *

Todomatsu woke up in a good mood and as opposed to the previous day, he took care in gently rousing Karamatsu for a brand new day, and sat beside him during breakfast to monitor his speed as they can't afford to be fashionably late for the meetup.

Inside the bathroom, Karamatsu tugged on his binder, hoping that he's tightened the clasps enough. With his physical dysphoria kicking in, he can't afford to let the ladies at the gathering know they're not the only ones with boobs.

As he was about to perform his daily grooming ritual, however, he couldn't find his eyebrow pencil and eyebrow templates. Ah well! He didn't urgently need them, but it felt naked to go outside without nicely groomed eyebrows.

Karamatsu winced as Todomatsu helped put some foundation on him, feeling ticklish as his youngest brother dabbed on some powder on him. Todomatsu also dressed him up with a powder blue shirt, navy blue tie, and pedal cut beige pants. For the finishing touch, he set the new trilby he bought on Karamatsu's head

"See? We're matchers!" Todomatsu beamed cutely. Karamatsu nodded, wishing he could openly state that he's a little uncomfortable going for a whole new style.

"Hey, Todomatsu!" A voice called out from the living room. "How's gramps?" Osomatsu laughed, in reference to Karamatsu's retro fashion sense.

"He passes as an acceptable member of society! A normal human being!" Todomatsu exclaimed as he gestured his arms for Karamatsu to step into the living room.

The four remaining brothers' jaws dropped simultaneously.

"OHMIGOD!" Jyushimatsu gasped. Ichimatsu beside him started sobbing softly.

"Okay, what the fuck is this witchcraft, Todomatsu? What have you done!" Osomatsu exclaimed.

"He's unrecognizable!" Choromatsu pointed out, gawking at his older brother's new image.

"It's like facing a fangless king cobra!" Osomatsu observed. "There's a threat of danger but no pain!"

They all flocked to Karamatsu to study his features and devoted some time to giving him tips on being less painful.

"Stop making dramatic gestures!"

"Drop the flowery language."

"Cut it with the cheesy dialect!"

Ichimatsu could only convulse, staring at his older brother as if he was an alien from another galaxy.

Karamatsu felt all eyes on him, scanning every feature. It was the drama club role-swap scenario all over again. The bewildered stares, the chuckles… now, he truly felt like he was being dissected by scientists.

* * *

As they arrived at a quaint café at 11 AM, Todomatsu led his brother to a table of 3 girls, who apologized on behalf of the other group members that couldn't make it. The brothers sat across them.

The chubby, round-faced girl sporting bobbed brown hair and red frame glasses smiled at them and introduced herself as Akiko. The stone-faced girl with long black hair simply nodded and uttered her name: "Midori." Beside Midori, a taller girl tossed her head back, golden hair cascaded down from her shoulders(exposed by an off-shoulder baby blue blouse) to her mid back in soft waves, was Hikari. She beamed as she made brief eye contact with each of the brothers, then she went back to twiddling with her fingers. Todomatsu found this quirk rather odd.

The brothers each shook the girls' hands and introduced themselves.

Hikari stood out most to Karamatsu due to her soft, airy laugh and how she confidently tossed her head, sending waves through her golden hair.

As Karamatsu got to Hikari, he mused: "Ah, Hikari!" Karamatsu shook her hand, soft and warm in his own. "The shimmer of light that heals the grief and sadne-"

Todomatsu rammed his elbow into Karamatsu's ribs, cutting his line short before everyone else noticed. "W-what he meant to say was, you personality could light up any room!" Todomatsu chirped. "Isn't that right, Karamatsu?" Todomatsu grinned with clenched teeth.

Not seeming to notice anything unusual going on with the brothers, Hikari simply giggled.

Despite best his best efforts and constant self-reassurance that cool guys don't blush, Karamatsu's cheeks turned pink.

"So, Karamatsu!" Hikari said, brushing her hair aside. "Tell me something about yourself!"

The two other girls locked their gaze on him, entrapping him.

Karamatsu tensed up as Hikari shot him the question, not unlike the ones he and his brothers heard during the times they attended job interviews. Where would he start? His brothers? His hobbies? His interests? How about he-

"I'd like to think of myself as a lone wolf, mysterious and broodin-"

Todomatsu discreetly ground his heel into Karamatsu's foot, causing him to flinch silently in pain. "Do you want to be socially relevant or not?" he hissed at his older brother, who could only reply with a nod.

Two of the girls, Midori and Hikari, exchanged some words under hushed tones and some giggles, which sent an alarm going off in Todomatsu's head.

* * *

As the gathering broke off, Todomatsu exited the café and hung his head in shame as he trailed behind his older brother, who was oblivious to the social cues that took place inside the café.

"Totty!" one of the girls called out as she ran after the youngest brother.

Todomatsu turned his head around casually. "Akiko! What's up?"

"Can we talk? Just the two of us?"

Todomatsu tensed up in horror. _I messed up, didn't I?! Why did I even bother taking Karamatsu along? It's social suicide! Changing him would take a thousand miracles! No, ten thousand!_ He remembered all the cheesy lines, quoted lyrics, and nonsensical passages that escaped his brother's lips and felt the claws of judgement upon his neck, waiting to dig in and shred him to pieces like a vicious raptor.

Akiko ran a hand through the back of her head. "Hope it's not so much to ask but Hikari and I were talking earlier…"

"It's not a bother at all! What is it?" Todomatsu straightened his back, ignoring the bead of sweat forming at his temple. _What are they going to do to me? Expel me from the group chat? Issue a restraining order? Banish me to a deserted isla-_

"Would you mind setting Hikari up with your brother?" Akiko asked as she searched her purse for her phone. "She told me she's interested in him!"

Appalled, Todomatsu's jaw dropped at Akiko's statement. How can someone actually be interested in his painful older brother? Was his plan actually working, or was it working against him?

"No problem!" Todomatsu hesitantly took out his phone, looking up for Karamatsu's number. "I'll let you know if he's free!"

* * *

Karamatsu's Heartbreak Soap Opera

Chapter Title: A Glimmer of Light

My dear journal,

I am completely ecstatic at the moment, but I will save the details for last!

Today was the day of the meetup with Todomatsu's online friends! Akiko was the girlish one with the round face, red glasses, and short brown hair. Midori had silken, ebony hair, and a dark, stoic expression to match. Hikari, living up to her namesake, lit up the room with her golden hair and lilting laugh, much like birdsong!

I did my best to avoid making theatrical gestures, but still, my dear brother Todomatsu scolded me by elbowing my side and stepping on my foot. But why? Have I said something painful? I wasn't wearing my usual fashion and wore the clothes he got me yesterday.

It was hard to fathom the concept of me "being less painful" around others. What about my words hurt others? Was it how I called myself a mysterious and brooding lone wolf? Or was it me alluding Hikari to lyrics from Ozaki's song? I don't understand but… if I had to stop doing such things to attain the goal of "bettering myself", perhaps society will understand and love me more.

However, Totty mustered the courage to confess that one of the girls had taken an interest in me and asked if I was available for a date this Wednesday! Yes, Wednesday! And who is the lady, you ask?

…Hikari!

I am trembling with anticipation for the arrival of that fateful day!

-The one and only, Karamatsu

* * *

At 8 o' clock sharp, Karamatsu rose from the futon and hurried through his breakfast. Despite being cranky from being roused so early, Todomatsu managed to help his brother put on foundation and coordinate his outfit for today's date: a baby blue button up shirt and pedal cut jeans, topped off with the signature trilby. After that, Karamatsu bade the household goodbye and zipped through the front door.

On the way to the meeting area, Karamatsu stopped by at a flower shop to buy a bouquet of roses for his date. After all, gifting flowers on the first date left the best impressions. In his excitement, he nearly forgot the change and rushed back to snatch the coins off the cashier's palm.

He huffed as he arrived 1 hour early at the meeting area, by the storefront of a little tea shop at the corner of town. His heart raced and legs shook as he anticipated her soft laugh and golden flowing hair.

Time came for his date to turn up.

He scanned the crowd for Hikari.

His stomach turned at the glimpse of blonde hair among the sea of dark-haired heads.

 _Is that he- no, their hair is too short._

He cocked his head towards the other direction.

 _There she i- no, that's not her at all!_

He sent her a text from his phone and waited for a reply. Another 10 minutes without a reply, he sent another. 10 minute intervals turned into 30, which turned into an hour.

Karamatsu's phone rang and the name of the caller sent a jolt of electricity throughout his entire body.

 _Hikari!_

" _H-hello?_ You called?" Karamatsu quickly put on his suave voice, faltering.

"Karamatsu, I – ah!"

A loud sneeze and a splash of water followed. Then the line went off.

What just happened there? Is Hikari okay?

A bit of panic and dread filled Karamatsu as he clung to the idea that his date will arrive a bit later than anticipated. He tried calling her several times, but to no avail.

As time crawled by, several couples passed by the café; some of them entered it together. Karamatsu couldn't help but feel envious and empty. Like him, his stomach too protested that it was empty by grumbling loudly, but he silently promised that he wouldn't eat until his date turned up and decided that the both of them ordered meals. He didn't want his date to feel excluded; that would be a violation of the Karamatsu Code!

Seriously, where is she? He couldn't wait to chat her up and ask her about her interests. Did she have a job? Did she have plans?

Hours and hours passed. Karamatsu felt the sun beating him and radiating down to his core; he licked his dry lips as his hunger pangs grew stronger, and dark thoughts shrouded his mind.

As the sun sank into the horizon, so did Karamatsu's heart.

Hopefully, he can count on a certain someone to lend an ear to his heartaches.

He stared at his shoes as he formulated sentences in his head on his way to the oden cart.

* * *

Afternoon approached, washing the town in a soft orange glow. With nothing but the tunes on the radio for company, Chibita hummed along as he chopped some daikon.

Sensing a customer approaching his cart, Chibita greeted the familiar man, barely looking up from his work station. "Hey, Todomatsu! I didn't expect you to come on your own! Who are the flowers fo-"

Upon closer inspection, he noticed that 'Todomatsu' had slightly thicker eyebrows, and folded sunglasses dangling from his collar.

Chibita's jaw dropped in disbelief. "K-Karamatsu?!"

Karamatsu swallowed as he could only nod in silence.

 _What was he doing here dressed up like that? And with flowers? It's just absurd and very much unlike him. What the hell was he trying to achieve?_

To Karamatsu's horror, Chibita burst into uncontrollable laughter, shredding any remaining hopes he has to better himself.

"I can't believe it!" Chibita slammed his fists across the counter in hysterics. "That's the most embarrassing thing I've ever seen you do, dammit!" Tears started beading up in the corner of Chibita's eyes as he fell to the ground, flailing his body as he continued laughing at the sight of Karamatsu.

"W-what?" Karamatsu's voice cracked. Pins and needles pierced his heart, chest tightening. The bouquet of flowers hit the floor.

"I don't understand! My dear Todomatsu already picked out my clothes and trained me to be socially relevant yet…"

"Am I still…painful?" Karamatsu's voice shrank with his heart. His eyes started to sting. Chibita became a blur. Ugly thoughts came pouring into his head.

Chibita gathered himself and forced his laughter to die down. "Karamatsu, look…I never said that you had to change your ima-"

But Karamatsu didn't hear him.

Karamatsu clenched his fists, as he turned away and approached the railing surrounding the canal in front of the oden cart. Chibita looked up from his work station.

"K-Karamatsu? …Kara-boy?" Chibita called out, propping himself up and strained to see what Karamatsu was doing.

Karamatsu shut his eyes tightly and clenched his teeth.

He's just not good enough. Not good enough for his family, for his date, for Chibita!

He's not a good son because he cannot easily leave his NEET status, He's not a good brother because his brothers rarely react positively towards him, he's not a good enough date because somehow she's turned him down, and lastly, he's not a good friend to Chibita because he he can't pay his tab, he can't better himself to show Chibita he's a self-sufficient adult.

Is this what fate had in store? Was he destined to die young and never find his true person? He will eternally be a Man With No Plans.

He wonders what kind of legacy he's going to leave behind. He expected to die famous and successful, with lots of people surrounding him and mourning his passing. Instead he's going to die young, and in obscurity.

Unlike his idol, Yutaka Ozaki, who was found dying in an alley, just a month shy of his birth. Who had hundreds of adoring fans build a shrine in his memory.

He remembers this discovery as he pored through an old magazine in the attic and read about Ozaki's death. Hot tears streamed from his face and left stains on the faded page. From then on, he spent every April 25th, lamenting. For seven days straight, he wore nothing but all black, played and sang Ozaki's songs. He would be completely inconsolable during this one-week period.

Will anyone lament his loss like that?

He wonders if anyone would ever find his body, let alone recognize it, if it goes uncovered for days.

Will he appear on the news? Will his death be branded as tragic?

Who will find the Last Will and Testament he penned and tucked away safely in his jacket for future reference?

Will someone discover his writings/compositions and CD compilations?

Will his family lament him? Or will they silently rejoice that there's one less mouth to feed?

He wondered how they will dress up his corpse; how his brothers would share eulogies. How many people would even attend his wake?

He mentally bade these people farewell: his parents, his brothers, he tried to picture the others too and wondered if they'll even miss him; Totoko? Iyami? Dekapan? Dayon?

Karamatsu tightened his grip on the railings, bowed his head and leaned forward.

He decided to forget about it. He will be forgotten, so what's the point? His date forgot about him. His family forgot about him. Hell, even Chibita forgot about him. Everyone will forget about him and move on. His passing will soon be forgotten.

"Heh… I don't think this sinner can be redeemed for his crime of being extremely painful," Karamatsu muttered to himself as he kicked off his shoes.

At this point, it wouldn't make a difference if he disappeared off the face of the earth.

Chibita had left this cart for a closer look, but dread and panic started flooding every inch of his body, causing him to freeze in his spot.

"It's been nice knowing you, Chibita!" Karamatsu cried out, hoisting himself up the railings.

The last thing Karamatsu expected to feel was his body plunging into the icy waters and hitting the hard concrete bottom.

Not a pair of arms restraining him into an awkward embrace.

The only sounds that followed were the trilby splashing into the water and Karamatsu's glasses hitting the pavement, causing one of the lenses to crack upon impact.

"The hell?! You idjit! Dammit!" Chibita exclaimed as Karamatsu trembled in his arms, tears trailing down his cheeks.

Adrenaline rushed through Chibita's brain. _What on earth was Karamatsu thinking, trying to off himself?_

"Listen to me, ya idjit! I need you to think more clearly about this!" Chibita grabbed Karamatsu by the arms and looked at him straight in the eye.

Chibita's gaze pierced Karamatsu's soul, triggering him to sniffle. The latter attempted to say something, only to be garbled and distorted and drowned out by his sobs.

Chibita could only look at Karamatsu's ruddy, tear-stained face with sympathy.

He recalled the times he saw morning news and found out someone had committed suicide near the place he usually parks his cart, corpses zipped up in body bags whisked away by ambulances. How he's listened to a few drunken customers' self-depreciating talks and coaxed them out of it. Listening to them made one feel old and weary, but it's what a decent person should do. And it's what he felt he was destined to do: help others and be a shoulder for others to lean on.

He took a deep breath and squeezed Karamatsu into a tight embrace.

"You can't please everyone on this earth. If they whine about it, that's their goddamn problem, not yours." Chibita paused to wipe away Karamatsu's tears with his thumb.

"You don't have to change your image for somebody else. I've never said you had to do that before I agreed to help you out. Don't change who you are for others: not for women, not for your friends, not even for your family, especially your brothers."

"But why can't I change myself, Chibita?" Karamatsu choked on his tears.

"Karamatsu, I think you're fine the way you are." Chibita handed him a handkerchief. "I like you better as your NORMAL painful self, not some pretentious douchebag in a trilby."

Karamatsu threw his arms, breaking free from Chibita's embrace. "People hate me!"

"I don't!" Chibita exclaimed, grabbing Karamatsu by the arms. "You don't have to be like anyone but you!" He looked at the miserable man straight in the eye.

"I don't even know who I am!"

Proving to be an ugly crier, Karamatsu's face was a distorted mess of tears, snot, and drool. His lips twitched and trembled, his face warm to the touch.

Everything about him was fabricated.

Fake.

His confidence was fake.

His Casanovan persona was fake.

Everything he did was scripted. Borrowed. From TV dramas, movies, novels, stage plays.

He tried too hard.

He didn't try enough.

Karamatsu blew his nose into the handkerchief.

Chibita didn't know what else to say.

Karamatsu looked up and whined, "Why did you stop me?"

A whirlwind of thoughts and worries continued swimming and swirling turbulently inside Karamatsu's head.

He's had enough. Enough of pretending to be cool. Enough of being pushed to change, when the directions are unclear. Enough of being rejected and stood up by countless women. Enough of pushing himself so hard that people stepped on him or ignored him. Chibita must be incredibly disappointed in him, what with trying to change himself and committing suicide over rejection. He must be underwhelmed, given the expectations he has of him.

That's why Chibita was laughing at him; because all he is, is a joke.

"I don't want to lose any more people I care about!" Chibita shouted, holding Karamatsu in his arms once more.

Karamatsu buried his face in Chibita's chest, soaking his shirt with his tears. His wails reverberated through his chest and pounded through Chibita, who could only repeatedly caress his tear-stained cheeks.

But if he was such a joke, why did Chibita say he cared about him?

The train's wheels squealing in the distance, the birds squawking into the sunset, the bustling afternoon traffic, none of those mattered now.

Chibita's heart crumbled to pieces in his chest. He's never imagined let alone wanted to see Karamatsu break down like this. He expected people like Ichimatsu to act like this, or even the anxiety-riddled Choromatsu, but not Karamatsu. No, he was too upbeat, vibrant, and full of life. It was hard to fathom that someone who constantly spouted awful poetry and cheesy lyrics, would even consider suicide.

"Bettering yourself doesn't mean you should throw away everything you've known and loved." Chibita ran a hand through Karamatsu's hair reassuringly.

"I'm going to promise you one thing, idjit. We're taking it slow. Self-betterment isn't like instant noodles. Think of it as making oden for the first time. Sure you're gonna suck at first, but if you're up to it, something good will happen."

Karamatsu's crying was reduced into sobbing as lifted his head to look at the smaller man.

"Trust me."

"I j-just…want to be noticed and appreciated!" Karamatsu blubbered and buried his face once more in Chibita's chest.

"I'm noticing and appreciating you! You think my oden is the best in the whole galaxy! You're the one among your brothers who actually visits the most! You're not some inconsiderate asshole who steps on others!"

Finally, Chibita released Karamatsu from their embrace and put his hands on the taller man's shoulders. "I'm here for you, idjit. Don't you ever forget that!"

Karamatsu nodded, wiping his tears away.

Upon picking up the broken sunglasses and approaching the abandoned bouquet of flowers on the path, Karamatsu dropped to his knees shaking.

Chibita rushed up to him, kneeling beside him and placing an arm across his back.

"I-idjit! Are you okay?"

He heard Karamatsu's breath heaving, the tremors reverberating through his back.

"Let's get you to my place." Chibita suggested.

"W-what about your job?" Karamatsu faltered. His customers, let alone his business couldn't be any less important than some miserable man who attempted suicide, could it?

"It doesn't matter now! Looking after my friend is more important!"

Chibita immediately begin packing away his cart, and led Karamatsu to stand beside him and hold on to the handle of his cart for support. Recalling his flower fairy ex's words, it was important that he had to be there for others. Her blue eyes reminded him of the daytime sky, full of optimism, opportunity, and freedom.

"Let's get you home," Chibita reassured his friend.

Karamatsu felt grateful that Chibita proposed to take him to his place. He can't bear to face his brothers right now since he was stood up by his date.

Karamatsu wondered about Chibita's residence. Where does he live now? He's never really bothered to update himself on Chibita's life beyond the fact he now works as an oden chef. He did know that Chibita went through various foster homes but never really got adopted; plus, Iyami wasn't exactly qualified to be his legal guardian. Last time he knew about Chibita's domestic life was…late in middle school maybe? He felt awful that he never made an effort to get to know his friend better.

All that thinking about never keeping tabs of Chibita's personal life made Karamatsu's guilt heavier, as his head grew heavy as well.

A churning sensation developed in Karamatsu's stomach, forcing some acid in his throat.

The two arrived by an old apartment building. Chibita parked his oden cart by his apartment unit.

"We're home." Chibita stated as he unlocked the door to his apartment, keys jangling.

Inside the apartment, plastic hibiscus flowers hung on the walls in garlands, giving the room a bright and cheery atmosphere. A flat screen TV was tucked away in the corner of the living room next to a short round table. On the genkan, boxes and boxes of packed oden were stacked on top of each other.

The two men removed their shoes.

Once again, Karamatsu collapsed to his knees, the acid level in his throat threatening to rise higher.

"T-toilet, toile-" Karamatsu gurgled as he scrambled to his feet and frantically searched for the bathroom.

"Door to the left," Chibita gestured.

Karamatsu stumbled over to the bathroom, and once inside, choking and heaving sounds echoed inside the walls, leaving Chibita concerned.

Getting up from kneeling in front of the toilet, Karamatsu hoisted himself to the sink and splashed some water on his face. Looking in the mirror, his hair was a mess from wearing the trilby all day, his eyes puffy and red from excessive crying.

Speaking of the trilby, Todomatsu would be furious to find out what happened to it after he attempted suicide.

He left the faucet running, staring at the water swirling down the drain. _Just like my hopes and dreams,_ he thought bitterly.

"Karamatsu? Are you okay in there?" Chibita knocked gently on the bathroom door.

He snapped out of what seemed like an eternity, and exited the bathroom, wheezing.

Outside, Chibita kneeled beside a spare futon he has prepared. "C'mere, lie down." Chibita gestured, patting the futon, which Karamatsu willingly retreated into. All nice, warm and comforting.

Hearing laborious breathing, Chibita insisted that he should loosen Karamatsu's binder, only to have the latter shake his head.

Chibita lifted part of his shirt, exposing his own binder. "Don't worry. I wear one too."

Karamatsu rolled over on his stomach to allow Chibita to unbutton his shirt as to loosen his binder, prompting the small man to grow concerned over its tightness; he tutted as he undid the clasps, hoping Karamatsu breathes better that way.

Upon having his breasts freed from his binder's pinch, Karamatsu slid further down the covers, growing conscious of his chest.

 _Dammit._ What a mess. How did Karamatsu end up like this? Was he so ignored at home that he had to look for love and attention elsewhere?

Chibita left for a bit, allowing more intrusive thoughts to crowd Karamatsu's brain.

Was Hikari deliberately avoiding him? What will his brothers say if they find out what happened to him? Would they react with sympathy or call him out for attention seeking? Multiple thoughts continually jabbed at him, causing him to groan in a mixture of pain and irritation, so he massaged his temples.

"Hey, you have to drink up and eat a bit." Chibita offered him a cool glass of water and some rice crackers as he returned. "To replace what you've lost."

Karamatsu sat up to accept the food and drink, noting that Chibita was being motherly, what with how he acted towards him.

After he has wolfed down the rice crackers, Chibita sat beside him and offered an upturned palm carrying a small tablet.

"Open up and chew it, Karaboy. It's for your vomiting problem."

Karamatsu gingerly picked up the anti-emetic chewable tablet and popped it in his mouth. As he bit into it, it released a tangy, tart flavor not unlike the sour candies he munched on as a kid.

At least Chibita gave a shit about him; what with him setting up a place for him to rest and giving him aid to recoil from a traumatic experience.

Chibita shifted into a reclining position and sat beside Karamatsu.

"Hey."

"Hm?" Karamatsu turned to face the small man.

"What if we had sessions here instead of at my cart? That way there's no pressure for the both of us?"

Karamatsu nodded weakly.

Raindrops started hitting the roof, increasing in intensity by the minute, sounding much like roaring applause. Flashes of lightning streaked across the sky as thunder rumbled after.

Karamatsu rolled over to press his forehead against Chibita's thigh, causing the tiny bald man to wince.

"You're lonely, aren't you?" Chibita said softly, stroking Karamatsu's hair to comfort him.

"Do you mind if I put on some music for ya? I've got some bossa nova and junk, if ya like…"

Karamatsu nodded weakly in response, not minding a bit of background music, but he's surprised to learn that Chibita liked bossa nova since he assumed he'd be into pop or rock n roll, prompting him to feel guilty once more as he knew next to nothing about Chibita besides being fond of oden, despite being childhood friends.

Chibita hasn't quite expected his Wednesday afternoon to go like this. Sure, he was up for Karamatsu opening up and sharing bits of himself; however, his idea of Karamatsu opening up and sharing bits of himself didn't involve the part where he had to hurl bits into the bottom of a bucket. Coincidentally, he sat up from the futon and did just that, momentarily filling the air with a sour stench. Chibita wrinkled his nose in disgust.

Concerned about Karamatsu's current physical state, Chibita fetched a warm bowl of oden broth.

As Karamatsu nursed himself back to health with oden, Chibita decided to talk to him for company, hoping that it'd make him feel less lonesome and distract him from any more negative or intrusive thoughts.

"Hey, about last Sunday."

"Hm?"

"First time in ages… I got out of the house to enjoy myself instead of just focusing on oden."

Karamatsu was concerned about Chibita being lonely again. Truth be told, he himself hasn't completely forgotten about his own flower fairy after all these weeks…

"It was nice to go to somewhere different for a change. Any places you'd like to visit, Kara-boy?" Chibita asked him.

With the music playing in the background, Karamatsu pictured a hot summer day, sitting on the porch in their backyard enjoying popsicles and watermelons with the juices dribbling down to their chins; the scenery soon faded into a beach, sand dunes rolling everywhere, the waves licking at the shore, pretty seashells of all shapes and sizes dotting the sand, a nice salty breeze, the sun shining down brightly on the crystal blue waters.

"Beach…maybe."

"Hey, I love the beach! The gentle ocean breeze, the rolling waves… it's really relaxing. Takes your mind off the crap that bothers you. We should go there one day!"

"Chibita…"

"Yes?"

"Am I really embarrassing?"

"Uh…" Chibita scratched his head.

"I'm sorry."

"You have nothing to apologize for." "If anything…it's me who should've apologized. Sorry for calling you embarrassing. It was a mistake." "I'm such an idjit. Can't keep my goddamn mouth shut…"

"It's…fine." Karamatsu managed a weak smile.

Familiar piano chords played from Chibita's stereo, causing Karamatsu's ears to prick in anticipation. "Ah, Ozaki!" Karamatsu piped from the futon cover.

"You a fan of his?" Chibita asked gently.

"I live and breathe his music."

" _I love you._ Just for now, I don't want to hear sad songs," Ozaki's voice crooned from the stereo.

" _I love you._ Escaping and escaping, I finally got to this room…" Karamatsu trailed off, voice hoarse and weak, fading into a cross between a hum and a soft purr.

Chibita hummed along softly to the tune and stroked Karamatsu's hair, keeping him company and helping him rest.

Hours later, the last song ends, prompting Chibita to get up and turn on the TV to watch the evening news. He sat closer to the TV to be able to hear the sound since it was raining so hard, but he still couldn't hear most of the dialogue. He didn't want to raise the volume as not to rouse Karamatsu from his sleep. He put up with reading the headlines instead.

As the rain receded, Karamatsu woke up and groaned, causing Chibita to look at him and then shifted his attention to the wall clock. It was a quarter to 10 'o clock.

"Kara-boy…I think we need to call your brothers…" Chibita suggested.

Karamatsu sat up to protest. "N-no, no! You don't…have to…" He remembered how his brothers cheered him on for his date and wished him the best of luck, expecting that he'd turn up later in the night.

Despite protests, Chibita fished Karamatsu's flip phone from his pocket and flipped it open to call the Matsuno household.

No response.

"Well, might as well call back in a bit." Chibita put down the phone.

Coincidentally, Karamatsu's phone rang minutes later, startling them both.

Karamatsu lethargically sat up to reach for his phone but Chibita beat him to it.

"Don't get up. I'll do it for you, dammit!" Chibita snatched the phone and flipped it open to answer the call.

"Hello, Karamatsu?" a familiar voice called from the other side.

Osomatsu.

"Hey, idjit."

"Chibita?" Osomatsu sounded surprised over the line. "Are you cockblocking my younger brother on his date?"

"The hell?! No! He's not on a date with anyone right now."

"What? Wait… did you kidnap Karamatsu again?" Osomatsu scratched his head. "Listen, we're kinda broke right no-"

"No it's not about that." Chibita grew impatient with the sextuplet, rubbing his temple. "I need you to come get him. Alone."

As if psychic, Osomatsu picks up the urgent tone of Chibita's voice, knowing something is up.

"I see. I'll come get him." Click.

* * *

Around 10:30 PM, there was a knock on Chibita's door.

Karamatsu sat up to fix his binder and put it back on before the other person sees.

Chibita opened the door and let Osomatsu in, who knelt to greet his brother.

"Karamatsu, are you alright?" Osomatsu asked.

"I'll be fine. Hopefully," Karamatsu muttered tiredly.

Chibita put a hand on Osomatsu's shoulder. "We need to talk. Outside." He motioned towards the sliding glass door and led him out.

Despite feeling foggy, Karamatsu strained to listen to their conversation, only able to make out a few words exchanged between the two, with the rain muffling their voices.

After what seemed like eons, the two came back as the rain ceased to fall.

"C'mon, let's get you home," Osomatsu reassured his younger brother as he put an arm over his shoulder and hoisted him up.

* * *

 **A/N:** Like I said, this ep takes off sometime after Episode 15, but it's not going to touch upon the events beyond Episode 24. Consider this an alternate timeline, if you will.

I don't know if this chapter felt rushed or whatever, but let me know! I'm open to comments!

And for whatever reason you might need me, my Twitter handle is g0thbunny and most of my tweets are shitposts and Osomatsu san. I do tweet about art and writing sometimes!


	5. Dolorem Ipsum

**A/N:** I researched about being trans in Japan and it turns out that they have a specific term used for dysphoria: "Gender Identity Disorder" (G.I.D.). While I, as a trans person, don't agree with being trans as a mental disorder, I still think it would be realistic to use the term specific to context.

Also! Do you know the filler text "Lorem ipsum"? Turns out the original is "dolorem ipsum", which means "pain itself". Pretty fitting for this chapter since it's a filler(?) that deals with Karamatsu's depression and whatnot.

TW: for themes of depression, self-harm, suicide, smoking

* * *

Karamatsu found himself walking down an empty street. Upon reaching a flickering streetlight, he stopped dead in his tracks.

The leaves in the distance rustled, sending an eerie chill down his spine.

He gulped and picked up his pace as dread flooded his veins.

The rustling increased and drew closer, prompting Karamatsu to run away from it.

Was something, or someone, pursuing him?

Flashes of violet raced beside him; Karamatsu broke into a sprint and turned left at an intersection.

"Kara-chuuuuuuun," a sinister yet familiar voice growled. Karamatsu belted faster, hoping to outrun his pursuer. Adrenaline rushed through his head, causing it to throb and grow heavy.

"Don't leeeeeaaaaaave me, Kara-chuuuuuuun. Or else I'll die!" The voice threatened him.

At his next turn, he almost slammed into a dead end, swarming with thick, thorny vines; some of which started grabbing at him. Karamatsu inched away frantically and opened his mouth to scream, but only silence escaped his lips.

He tripped backwards on a vine, causing the other vines to charge at him and envelop him. His lungs were crushing under the pressure of the spiky tendrils piercing his skin, causing him to shut his eyes and cry in pain. He attempted to wriggle free but to no avail. The thorns dug deeper, drawing blood.

Karamatsu's eyes shot open.

No blood was spilt. He was covered by the shared futon blanket, not thorns; surrounded by his sleeping brothers, not a giant monstrous violet flower.

Karamatsu took his time to calm down from his nightmare and observed his brothers' breaths as they slept, their bodies rising and falling in time to a silent tune. He assumed it to be sometime before the crack of dawn, stars still out twinkling on a dark blue sky.

* * *

Osomatsu was first to wake up among the six, at 7 o' clock.

He simply couldn't shake off his conversation with Chibita from last night. At first he thought Chibita was playing a prank on him, but the somber expression and tone of his friend's voice suggested otherwise. Osomatsu did his best to understand the situation, he understood that his brother fell ill, but he didn't understand how or why. Losing patience, Chibita had to be brutally honest with him.

"Osomatsu…your brother tried to kill himself."

Osomatsu could only stand there, mouth agape. He found it hard to believe that out of all his brothers, Karamatsu, who was full of passion and life, would want to take himself out of existence.

"You've gotta help him out too, dammit!" Chibita stood on his tiptoes to grab him by the collar of his hoodie in frustration. "He might not recover on his own."

"Chibita…what should I do?" Osomatsu asked, wracking his brain for options.

Chibita lowered his head but maintained eye contact. "I think it's best to take him to a psychiatrist."

"A psychiatrist?" Osomatsu echoed. "Anything else I should do?"

"Give him time. If things don't start looking up from here, you take him to one. I mean, he does have one for his G.I.D., right?"

Karamatsu wasn't the only one who saw a psychiatrist. He and Ichimatsu started seeing Dr. Nakano in their teens in order to get diagnosed with Gender Identity Disorder since it was the only way to transition medically, plus Ichimatsu had depression and Jyushimatsu needed treatment for his ADHD. He often saw their medication receipts stuck on the fridge, and he resolved to check Dr. Nakano's clinic hours.

* * *

The first thing Osomatsu did was to make sure the shaving razors were out of sight, especially his father's old-fashioned safety razors, while Karamatsu was fresh out his suicide attempt. He remembered the time his mother walked in on Ichimatsu cutting in the bathroom several years ago; the very image of her clutching her fourth son to her chest as she wept vivid in his memory; she cared more for his well-being than the red lines from his arm staining her blouse.

Thankfully, Ichimatsu has been clean for 10 months, and Osomatsu didn't want such a scenario involving any of his brothers again.

Next, Osomatsu made sure to routinely check the medicine cabinet, assuring that none the pills have been touched. Then, he made sure there were no ropes in the house, or at least the ones that were there were stashed away on a high shelf.

Lastly, Osomatsu checked the fridge for anything alcoholic in nature after he scanned the clinic hours for his brothers' psychiatrist; He hesitantly dumped the alcohol he found in the sink. Before he forgot, he consumed the remaining bottle of barley tea, knowing that Karamatsu not only had trouble containing his alcohol, but he somehow managed to get drunk on the non-alcoholic beverage.

As Osomatsu hid and disposed of any potential self-harm devices, he hid his concerns for the second brother from the others, as to avoid raising suspicion and causing a scene. He felt conflicted whether or not he should tell his parents about his younger brother's predicament.

* * *

Karamatsu started falling out of sync with the rest of his brothers. It took him ages to get out of bed, feeling as if a large rock had manifested and crushed him into the shared futon. His tired eyes were pried wide open, head throbbing with pain.

Breakfast was a chore, every individual chew proving to be a Herculean task. Jyushimatsu was on the attack and devoured his older brother's leftovers.

Karamatsu's handy mirror lay on the floor abandoned, as he dropped the Narcissus act and stopped routinely admiring and observing his reflection in the mirror, eventually leading him to neglect his grooming habits and overall personal hygiene.

The days he spent on the roof increased, much to the worry of Osomatsu, who'd often burst out behind him to see if his younger brother has jumped, only to catch him taking long drags on cigarettes and staring absentmindedly at the puffs of smoke he let out. On occasion, Matsuyo came up to check on her second-born son, bringing him some snacks and drinks, which she later found out that he barely touched.

One day, Osomatsu caught a glimpse of faint, red scratch marks lining his younger brother's wrist while they both idly stared at some wacky noontime gameshow on TV. _Is that why he stared so much at it?_ , he can't help but wonder as he recalled the days he spied on his younger brother being preoccupied with his wrist. Karamatsu turned away from the TV, took one look at his wrist, then proceeded roll up his sleeve to scratch at his wrist with his fingernails, digging deeply into the flesh as it left even more red marks.

Karamatsu inflicted pain upon himself as equally painful thoughts stabbed him. He was selfish; selfish for only ever thinking about himself, selfish for never considering the consequences of his action thoroughly. He was stupid; stupid because he could've come up with a more elaborate plan to kill himself, stupid because he even considered killing himself, stupid because his friend Chibita actually cared about him.

Osomatsu tried not to stare, but it was getting too much for him to sit down and do nothing.

"Stop." Osomatsu grabbed Karamatsu's wrist and inspected it. Karamatsu tensed up when his brother touched him, wishing he could break free from his grip.

"This really needs to stop, Karamatsu," Osomatsu said with a concerning tone. "Let's get you to Dr. Nakano."

Upon hearing those words, Karamatsu's upset expression withered away.

* * *

"We're going out for pachinko!" Osomatsu called out to the household as he grabbed Karamatsu's arm. As the two brothers exited the door, Osomatsu's mind wasn't on gambling at all, but on bringing his younger brother to the psychiatrist.

A half hour walk brought them to a 15-storey building that bore words "Akatsuka General Hospital" mounted up the entrance. Since there was a queue by the elevators, the duo resorted to taking the stairs, traversing through the lime green and ecru walls and a few floors before they got to their destination.

Inside the clinic, Osomatsu and Karamatsu were greeted by the receptionist, who didn't look up from the computer as she typed. The two sat beside a few other patients waiting on the row of chairs. As the receptionist called out a name, a patient would disappear into the room behind her. Several minutes would pass for each patient before they stepped out the room and paid the consultation fee to the receptionist. While all this was happening, Osomatsu tried to converse and crack jokes with Karamatsu but only managed to get him to smile weakly.

Then came Karamatsu's turn.

The psychiatrist, Dr. Nakano, was in her fifties, making her old enough to be their mother. She sat behind a sturdy, wooden desk as she held the folder containing Karamatsu's record before her as the brothers took their seats in front of her desk.

"Well, good afternoon Karamatsu, Osomatsu! What brings you here today?" Dr. Nakano looked pleasantly surprised as she lifted a pen from her pen holder and flipped Karamatsu's record folder open. "I've heard that the shipment of Karamatsu's testosterone shot isn't due to arrive until another two more weeks."

"We're not here for that, doc," Osomatsu said. "We're here for something else."

"What seems to be the problem?" Dr. Nakano gripped her pen over Karamatsu's record.

"My brother here has been under the weather for over two weeks now and he hasn't cheered up one bit," Osomatsu stated as Karamatsu kept to himself, hugging his arms across his body and staring at the tiles on the floor.

Dr. Nakano adjusted her posture and leaned forward. "Have you noticed any signs he wasn't doing so well?"

Osomatsu looked up to think and said, "A few weeks back, a friend phoned me that he tried to commit suicide and took care of him until I came to get him."

The psychiatrist's eyes widened with concern. "Karamatsu, is this true? How did you try to commit suicide?"

"I almost threw myself into a canal," Karamatsu spoke without deepening his voice.

The psychiatrist took down some notes. "Was this planned or was it a whim of the moment?"

"A whim."

"What triggered you to end your life?"

"Everyone wanted me to change. I didn't know what I had to change into."

"Karamatsu, like I said, you don't really have to change for anyone. Fuck what Chibita's list says!" Osomatsu exclaimed as he shot up from his seat. Dr. Nakano dropped her pen and eyed him in surprise, then turned to look at Karamatsu.

"He talked to me about it. He said I didn't have to change my image at all. I don't know how I should better myself…" Karamatsu trailed off as he sank into the chair.

"Shit, me too!" Osomatsu pointed at himself before he calmed down and returned to his seat. "I don't know how to 'better' myself either, so why should you?"

A short pause followed; Karamatsu shifted in his seat, then Dr. Nakano picked up her pen and cleared her throat. She turned to Osomatsu.

"Osomatsu, did you notice other changes in his behavior?"

"He doesn't touch his food so much, he's been eating more ice cream than anything else, he hasn't been shaving or putting on cologne, he doesn't roll up his sleeves when he wears his hoodies, and he doesn't wear our matching color-coded outfits" Osomatsu gestured the difference between his red hoodie and Karamatsu's gray one.

"Mhm," Dr. Nakano remarked as her pen glided across the paper. "Now, Karamatsu, have you had suicidal thoughts or concerns regarding your existence?"

"One time, I wished the ground would swallow me up so I wouldn't be such a burden to others. I've kept thinking about how less selfish I would be if I ceased existing. Perhaps, others would stop hurting too." Karamatsu eyed one of the matryoshka bird figurines on the shelf behind the psychiatrist. Osomatsu eyed his brother intriguingly. Karamatsu can't help but wonder where his father's safety razors, or bleach, or ropes, or pills, or booze have gone in the household; he wanted to mention this to the psychiatrist but he found it unnecessary to do so.

Dr. Nakano turned her head to Osomatsu. "I've noticed that whenever he comes into my office, it's as if he's performing onstage in front of a live audience." She glanced momentarily at her patient, then back at his brother. "Does he do that lately, Osomatsu?"

"No. He hasn't even worn his trademark leather jacket at all. He just keeps wearing the same hoodie every day." Osomatsu gestured to Karamatsu's gray hoodie again.

"Desire to seek relationships?" Dr. Nakano was often updated with Karamatsu's romantic pursuits whenever he came by for his dose of testosterone and talked shop with the psychiatrist.

"He also hasn't been motivated to find his _Karamatsu Girls_ lately too."

"Theatricality…the need to be the center of attention…meticulous attention to personal appearance…impressionability…desire for intimate relationships…" Dr. Nakano enumerated the symptoms on her list before pausing slightly. "Karamatsu, this is a Western complex, but I believe you have _Histrionic Personality Disorder_."

Karamatsu nearly whited out at the diagnosis. Could this be the explanation why people avoided him and considered him to be a pain?

"Karamatsu, I've also gathered the evidence and conclude that you're suffering from depression right now." Dr. Nakano broke the news gently to Karamatsu as she wrote on a small pad of paper. "I'll be prescribing you some medicine and you must monitor any physical and emotional changes that come with taking it for the next few days." On a slightly larger pad of yellow paper, Dr. Nakano jot down the times Karamatsu was due to take his medicine within a day and the schedule of their next appointment. Then, she handed the papers to Karamatsu and parted ways with the brothers.

The session with Dr. Nakano ended, and Osomatsu paid the receptionist the consultation fee. After that, the brothers headed to the hospital's pharmacy and queued to order Karamatsu's prescribed medication.

Once outside the hospital, the brothers paused momentarily beneath the shade of an enormous pine tree. "Let's head to that convenience store, I'm out of cigarettes." Osomatsu pointed at the nearest 7eleven. "Want anything else there?"

Karamatsu merely shrugged, still clutching his paper bag of medication.

Inside the convenience store, Osomatsu browsed through the snacks and drinks and discreetly eyed some of the lewd magazines before deciding to head to the counter and ask for a pack of cigarettes. Karamatsu didn't bother wandering through the racks and remained silent throughout the whole trip.

Afterwards, the duo headed to the nearest designated smoking area, which was a glass box structure with no roofing. Only the two of them and three distant businessmen occupied the zone.

Once the brothers settled in a corner away from the businessmen, Osomatsu started puffing away on a cigarette, checked the contents of his wallet and bemoaned his funds.

"Damn. There goes my pachinko money."

"I'm sorry" Karamatsu muttered in a near-whisper, head bowed down in shame.

"You don't have to be! This is for your own good!"

Hot tears streamed down Karamatsu's face.

"I…I'm a failure," he groaned.

"You're not a failure to me! I mean, yeah you're painful but-" Osomatsu negated his brother's self-depreciative comment.

Karamatsu attempted to say something but his crying converted his speech into sputtering; something about being a weirdo, how he wanted to stand out and be noticed, but not in a negative light. Something about never finding someone who'd want to be with him because he was mentally ill. He covered his watery eyes with an arm, then wiped his snotty nose on his sleeve.

Osomatsu looked at his younger brother with sympathy, and assured him someone out there would be able to appreciate and accept his weirdness.

"You're my younger brother, and I wouldn't have it any other way!" Osomatsu draped an arm over Karamatsu's back to reassure him. "Heck, I'm happy the way all my brothers are, even if you guys annoy me or weird me out sometimes!"

"But please…don't tell the others!" Karamatsu pleaded, his voice faltering. "My dignity is at stake!"

How can attempting suicide not be a big deal?

Osomatsu felt like it was a big deal, that he needed to tell the others. When Ichimatsu was in middle school, he sat by the ledge of their school building and Choromatsu witnessed the incident firsthand and ran to fetch Osomatsu, who had been the one to grab Ichimatsu by the wrist and talk him out of it while Choromatsu lectured him about how selfish he was being by trying to end his life. It sounded like a good idea at the time, but later on, both Choromatsu and Osomatsu learned it was a terrible thing to call a suicidal person selfish.

Also, didn't they agree to discuss anything important that goes on in their lives? Todomatsu kept things like gym, Go, and Mt. Fuji a secret from them until recently; hell, he didn't even realize Choromatsu was so engrossed with idols!

Osomatsu remembered certain secrets; secrets like Jyushimatsu's girlfriend being a former AV actress, and more mundane ones like where each brother preferred to hide their fap fodder.

But this was different. Karamatsu tried to change himself to gain the attention of women. Karamatsu tried to kill himself over the confusion that came along with changing himself. Karamatsu has been in a slump for weeks, affecting his attitude and eating habits much to the concern of his family.

"I won't tell a soul, not even if they held me at gunpoint!" Osomatsu exclaimed as he wrapped his arms around his brother for a hug. Karamatsu reciprocated by squeezing his brother endearingly.

Osomatsu noticed the orange glow of the sun spreading across the sky and draping the buildings and trees around them, rays pouring through the boughs.

"Hey, wanna go to Chibita's? I bet he'd like to hear about your time at the psychiatrist!"

* * *

For the first 45 minutes at Chibita's oden stand, Karamatsu was in a trance. Osomatsu spilled the beans about his younger brother's psychiatrist appointment and mental illnesses, about how boring and tedious the session was, and how Karamatsu's pricey medication took a toll on his wallet. Karamatsu stared off into space as Chibita was saying something about trying to contact him, and he remembered he had neglected to charge and check on his phone during his slump.

"Man, Kara-boy! You should check yourself in the mirror!" Chibita took note of the dark rings forming around Karamatsu's eyes. "Have you even been sleeping well?"

Karamatsu sighed deeply, and parted his lips, illustrating the nightmares he had been having the past few nights: of turning to stone before an altar and having his flower fairy ex kissing him and turning into a monstrous plant that swallows him alive, of racing in some bathtub and crashing, only to have her drag him into the watery depths of the ocean, of being a prince visiting a foreign desert nation and pouring his drink absentmindedly onto a plant as he chatted to two ladies, only for his ex to emerge from the plant and sucker punch him in the jaw.

The two other men stared at him. Chibita had the guts to break the moment of silence after Karamatsu disclosed his predicament.

"The hell? I'm sensing some sort of twisted pattern there," Chibita stated grimly as he scratched his bald head.

Osomatsu took a swig of beer as Karamatsu crossed his arms across the table.

"I think I miss her," he came to a conclusion, causing Osomatsu to spit out his beer. "What?!"

"You okay, Kara-boy?"

"I…don't know. I guess it means I do still miss her," Karamatsu said with a tone of uncertainty. He slumped forward and cupped his face with one hand, then took a sip of his beer and sighed.

"She'd get lonely if I'm not beside her. Who knows what would've happened if I left her for more than 30 minutes? She said she'd die."

Karamatsu grew misty-eyed and wiped back a tear as he discreetly sniffled. Chibita looked on with concern, and decided to leave his position behind the cart to comfort his friend.

"Kara-boy… It's for the best. Some things weren't meant to last, good or bad."

Karamatsu appreciated his friend listening to his problems and attempting to cheer him up. But still, the loneliness lingered on inside him.

"I feel like we had something going on. I wish I could've been a better boyfriend." Karamatsu's heart ached for romantic companionship, for a fairytale ending. But so far, all he's ever been through is inevitable heartbreak.

Frustrated, Chibita rubbed the heel of his palm against his nose as he gathered his thoughts; he longed to tell Karamatsu that his relationship has been unhealthy and that he shouldn't be putting his eggs in one big, horrible basket. Instead, he kept his mouth shut because he didn't want to cause any more damage to the lonely man's psyche.

As if a dam burst in his chest, Karamatsu slammed his palms on the table, causing the cart to rattle, and emotions started gushing out from him.

"But, I had the _Power of Love_ on my side! I had nothing to give her but my undying affection and unwavering commitment! Why were things different for you and YOUR flower fairy?!" Karamatsu exclaimed, his eyes wet and burning. Had he tried harder, perhaps she would've changed too and treated him better. Had he not proven his love enough that she had to be taken away from him?

Osomatsu couldn't stand to see his brother miss such a vile person. She wasn't the lonely, tortured goddess his brother kept making her out to be. She kept falsely accusing him of cheating and saying she'd die if he wasn't by her side 24/7. If he didn't fulfill her requests perfectly, he was bombarded with death threats and physical abuse.

He wished he could have done something back then, but he didn't want to interfere with their relationship, hoping that Karamatsu would wise up and leave her.

So, he shot up to grab his younger brother by his hoodie's collar.

"' _Power of Love_ ', my ass! If I knew better, I would ha- ow!" Chibita's yellow towel smacked Osomatsu across the face, leaving a red mark on his cheek.

"Shut up Osomatsu, let me handle this," Chibita barked as he wedged himself between the two brothers to shield the younger one.

"Ya see Kara-boy," Chibita took a deep breath. "Every rose has its thorns. In your case, way too many thorns."

"I just want to move on and forget about her. But it's hard and nobody's been interested in me," Karamatsu griped. He missed having someone direct their attention at him and request his services. Unbeknownst to him, others considered him a doormat; due to this, he has been subject to the relentless abuse of his flower fairy ex.

"There are tons of women out there! There's gotta be someone nice who'd appreciate you! You're not that bad looking, if I gotta admit!" Chibita's cheeks tinged with pink after uttering his last statement, hoping Karamatsu doesn't get any weird ideas from it. Flattered, Karamatsu felt his cheeks warm up.

"Hey, I'm handsome too!" Osomatsu joined in the conversation.

Chibita's expression hardened as he turned to the eldest brother. "I said shut up, dammit! I'm talking to your brother!" he snapped.

Osomatsu just scowled, banished himself to the opposite side of the bench, and downed his beer silently. Chibita ignored him.

"Kara-boy, do you remember the list I gave ya?" With a determined look on his face, Chibita turned his head to Karamatsu, who simply nodded.

Chibita put a hand on Karamatsu's arm, and asked earnestly. "What did you even have in mind when you wanted to better yourself?"

"I…I'm not sure…"

Chibita shook his head. "You should only be bettering yourself because you want to grow and like yourself, not because you have somebody to impress." He then patted Karamatsu's arm, causing the other man to blush upon contact.

"You're only gonna be a mess if all you're gonna do is change yourself for others constantly," Chibita advised. "This is cliché, but just be yourself! Someone's oughta like you for you!"

Karamatsu was not only grateful for Chibita being a compassionate friend, but also astounded with his level of maturity. How he wished he was like him and knew better!

* * *

Karamatsu dragged himself to the kitchen, opened the fridge, and reached into the freezer for a tub of cookies and cream flavored Baagen Dazs.

In the living room, the rest of the sextuplets sat around doing nothing particularly engaging nor productive, as always.

"On the scale of ' _You Give Love A Bad Name_ ' to ' _Heartbreak Hotel_ ', how bad do you think Karamatsu feels?" Choromatsu speculated. During the rare times that Karamatsu showed signs of low moods, he'd often belt out a song matching the predicament he was in. His brothers dubbed this "The Measure of Melancholy".

"Hn, he hasn't belted out ' _Rolling In The Deep'_ since his fugly ex died," Ichimatsu muttered under his breath as he stroked the soft fur of a stray calico cat.

"Shush! He'll hear you!" Todomatsu hushed his bitter older brother, who retaliated, "So? Not like it's gonna make him feel any worse."

Karamatsu immediately felt worse, nearly dropping the spoon in his hand. He hated being reminded of his flower fairy ex, and soon, he started hating anything that had to do with her. Clutching the freezing tub of ice cream almost made him sick, almost made him want to chuck it out the window in spite.

"He's not even humming Ozaki's 'Loveless Town'," Jyushimatsu observed.

"Of course. It's this bad." Osomatsu already knew about Karamatsu's condition but kept his mouth shut about the psychiatrist visit and the diagnoses.

Karamatsu walked into the living room, sighed audibly, and plopped by the table. He grimly removed the lid off the ice cream tub and dug his spoon to shovel the cold dessert into his mouth.

Ichimatsu got up from sulking at the corner of his room, despising the fact that someone else is more miserable than he is.

"Hmph." He walked up to his depressed older brother and placed the cat on his brother's head. Then he looked at Karamatsu with cold, unfeeling eyes. "I'm not going to say pathetic bullshit about birds or sunshine or what have you. It's pointless."

Ichimatsu walks away and the cat leaps off Karamatsu's head to follow him out the door. Next, Jyushimatsu got up and made funny faces at Karamatsu. "Cheer up, Karamatsu! I'll try scoring a homerun just for you!" he chimed as he excused himself to play baseball outside.

"You should try yoga!" Todomatsu chirped at Karamatsu, zipping up his _Amedas_ bag packed with a yoga mat and his workout clothes. "It works wonders for your soul!" He got up and made his way halfway through the room.

"Hey, since when did you start doing yoga?" Choromatsu accused Todomatsu, who puffed his cheeks.

"I already mentioned that two weeks ago! Weren't you paying any attention?" With a huff, Todomatsu bade everyone goodbye and exited the house.

Sniffling, Karamatsu spooned another scoop of Baagen Dazs into his mouth. He slowly understood why his flower fairy ex sought out the expensive treat, the divine creaminess melting in his mouth. Perhaps, she too, was miserable and wanted to drown her sorrows in sugar.

Feeling concerned, both Osomatsu and Choromatsu decided to sit by Karamatsu, who paused eating just to glance at his brothers.

For some time, he stared into his ice cream tub, eyes tracing bits of cookies embedded in it. After some deliberation, he decided to face his brothers and ask them a question that's been bothering him:  
"How do you two know when you're in love?"

"Love?" Osomatsu faced his brother nonchalantly. "You mean when you get horny?"

"No, I believe they're two different things."

"Love isn't sex, Osomatsu," Choromatsu corrected his older brother. Osomatsu made a face and scoffed at him. "Who cares? It all boils down to sex eventually," he said matter-of-factly.

"So…I must desperately lust after the person I desire?" Karamatsu wondered out loud. He, like his brothers, was a virgin and his only exposure to anything remotely sexual in nature were trashy light novels and erotic magazines.

"Not necessarily," Choromatsu answered. "Maybe just think about them a lot, your face goes red around them and your heart beats faster, maybe stumble to find the right words, give in to their every whim, be protective of them…" Choromatsu clasped his hands together and closed his eyes in bliss. "When they're happy, you're happy."

"Wow, Fappy!" Osomatsu exclaimed as he ran his finger under his nose. "I can't believe you! Guess you're also Sappymatsu, now huh?"

"CALL ME FAPPY ONE MORE TIME AND I'LL END YOU!" Choromatsu reached out, grabbed Osomatsu by his hoodie's collar and flashed a clenched fist at him threateningly.

" _B-brothers_ , please don't quarrel!" Karamatsu shot up and shoved himself between the two clashing brothers in hopes of thwarting any future acts of violence from arising in their household.

The two recovered from their conflict and calmed down, much to Karamatsu's relief. Returning to his tub of ice cream, he took Choromatsu's list of crush symptoms into consideration. When was the last time his face had turn red around someone? When had he lost his words? _Oh._ He suddenly recalled his shopping trip with Choromatsu and Todomatsu, where he bumped into a former high school upperclassman.

Choromatsu's voice cut through Karamatsu's round of reminiscing. "Well, you worry over saying or doing the wrong thing around them. You want to make a good, lasting impression, right?"

Karamatsu cupped his chin between his index finger and thumb, concentrating on his next question. "How do you know if someone has a crush on you?"

Osomatsu shrugged, but tried his best to answer his younger brother's query. "I dunno. I guess they might invite you over to their place, make reasons to keep seeing you alone, take you to places they enjoy, they'd either be really quiet or really gabby."

Didn't Chibita promise him that they'd have their sessions at his place? And he did say something about taking him to the beach.

Karamatsu took note of how nicely Chibita treated him compared to his brothers, which is why he saw to it that he regularly visited his stand. Nice people didn't deserve to be lonely, after all. _Besides, he is kind of cute…_

Cute?

Choromatsu leaned in to interrogate his older brother. "Why, do you have a crush on one of Totty's friends?"

"Yeah, he even introduced you to them!" Osomatsu piped in. "No fair! I bet they're hot!"

But Karamatsu's mind was far away from what his brothers suggested. It wasn't on the cheerful Akiko, nor the serious Midori, especially not on the elusive Hikari. His mind yearned for the familiarity of a certain friend, his company, and his warm hand.

 _Oh, god._ He liked Chibita.

Just like how he admired Hideo from back in high school.

It all made sense now.

The visits to his cart were pretty much how he watched Hideo pour his soul out on the guitar during club activities back in high school. Chibita showed the same magnitude of passion when cooking up oden, focusing on the harmony of the ingredients and keeping a sharp eye on the bubbling broth. As always, Karamatsu pushed back his enthusiasm with his metaphorical shades to maintain his cool guy persona.

"Say…there's this…um, guy I know and he asked me…" Karamatsu paused and took a deep breath. "What do you call someone who likes women AND men?"

"Bisexual," Osomatsu and Choromatsu both replied without hesitation.

Karamatsu's eyes lit up and he let out a sigh of relief, as if a weight has been lifted off his shoulders. Sure, he often thought of himself as a ladies' man, but it took some time to figure out he was interested in men as well. Besides, if him coming out as transgender was accepted by his family, how could this be any different?

"So you guys wouldn't have a problem with me being…that, then?" Karamatsu looked up hopefully from his tub of half-eaten Baagen Dazs. His brothers could only sit there with their jaws dropped, staring at him with awe upon learning something new about their sibling.

Being the logical thinker, Choromatsu spoke up first by laying down the harsh truth on him, "I don't see a problem in that, but getting a partner the same gender as you could prove, well, difficult."

His words dampened Karamatsu's hopes of advancing any men romantically.

Things were different with Osomatsu, who leaned in to ruffle his younger brother's uncombed hair. "Eh, it's no big deal! You're still our painful Karamatsu!" Then, he unwittingly added, "If it helps, I once jacked off to a shirtless guy from one of your fashion magazi-"

Karamatsu smacked his older brother across the head in irritation. "How could you?!"

"What?! I was horny!" Osomatsu laughed as he nursed the sore spot on his head.

* * *

Every other night, the sextuplets headed for Chibita's oden cart. Every other night, they also failed to pay their tab, pissing off the cart's owner.

The typical atmosphere was observed; one brother would crack a joke or play pranks and laughter would erupt among them. Of course, they all got hammered over the countless beers and sake they ordered.

Everyone except Karamatsu.

Karamatsu found himself glancing often at Chibita, hoping he won't get caught for staring too long. On the occasion he was caught looking at the tiny bald man, he found himself speechless. Chibita would decide to break the ice between them every now and then, and the ever-eloquent Karamatsu would stumble and foray through the mental dictionary in his head for the right vocabulary words, finding none that strung together and made sense, embarrassing himself in front of Chibita, who would just chuckle at him and endearingly call him an idiot. Karamatsu felt his heart melt into a mushy pool inside his ribs upon seeing Chibita smiling and chuckling that cute laugh of his.

"Hey, Chibita," Osomatsu called out.

"Yeah?"

"Anyone ever tell you this?" Osomatsu asked with a straight face.

"What?"

"Your laugh is kinda dumb!" Osomatsu mocked the oden stand owner.

"Your FACE is kinda dumb!" Chibita yelled from the other side of the cart, shaking a fist at the eldest brother.

Karamatsu lifted a hand to smack his older brother across the head.

"What on earth was that for?!"

The event made Chibita chuckle once more, sending a smile creeping back to Karamatsu's face. It was just emotionally fulfilling to make him happy.

Time came to leave and the brothers left Karamatsu behind for some vague reason, leaving him trapped to pay for their ever growing tab. Since he didn't have his black, skull-decked wallet on his person, he performed a pathetic attempt to dig into his pockets for spare change. He managed to scrounge up three 10-yen coins and sheepishly presented them to Chibita, who could only sigh in irritation and responded, "Fine. But this doesn't even cover 1% of your tab, idjit."

Still, it was better than nothing.

* * *

One boring afternoon, the brothers were gathered around the living room table, chatting idly about crushes and romance.

"Hey, if you could go out with any of our childhood friends, who'd you go out with?" Before the other brothers could speak, Osomatsu interjected. "Other than Totoko, because we all know we've got crushes on her."

Karamatsu blinked emptily at the statement and reevaluated his feelings towards Totoko. Sure, she was pretty and all, but lately he didn't experience the same burning desire to be with her, unlike the others constantly did. She occasionally dropped by their house to deliver orders of fish to their mother, while he and his brothers gawked at her dreamily. Nowadays, he spent more time staring at the ceiling and walls, constantly bothered by pointless, nagging thoughts.

Except some of these thoughts were of Chibita.

"What about Kumiko?" Jyushimatsu randomly brought up some distant childhood friend.

"Who?"

"The girl who used to live in that big house a few blocks away." Jyushimatsu pointed in that general direction.

"Oh. Yeah."

"Remember when Chibita had a thing for Hanako the pig girl?" Todomatsu giggled at the memory.

All but Karamatsu laughed at the memory of a young, homeless boy following around a bipedal pig disguised in girls' clothes. Strange as it seemed, he can't help but feel a tad bit jealous and sad that he probably wasn't Chibita's type, even when he was a kid.

"He's not really my type but if anything I'd totally date Hatabou. You know, for the money!" Osomatsu half-joked as he rubbed his index finger below his nose.

"Who else, who else?"

The brothers wracked their brains for any more childhood friends they might have left out during their discussion and came to the conclusion that they didn't have that much friends as children since they either bullied them into avoiding their posse or moved away due to huge corporations and land developers buying their houses and lots and reconstructing them into commercial buildings and condominiums.

"Come to think of it, I wonder if Chibita's ever been on a date…" Choromatsu remembered the tiny bald man, never once seeing him be interested in any sort of romantic pursuit in his adult life. "I guess he's probably a virgin too, huh?"

Karamatsu felt his face grow warm. _Is it possible that Chibita's still a virgin? Why am I even having these kinds of thoughts? I don't want to bed him or anything! He's just a friend, Karamatsu, he's just a friend, he's just-_

"He can't get any 'cause he's such a grump," Osomatsu scoffed. Karamatsu felt his chest tighten and his hands balled up into fists. "He's also ugly. And short. And a huge baldy." The second-born swore he felt the veins in his temple pop up.

Todomatsu frowned. "You're right. Who would ever have a crush on him?" Then, his face relaxed into a rather smug smile as he pictured a certain rich someone from his friend group. "I mean, it's not like he's a 6-foot-tall mild-mannered hottie with luscious hai-"

Hearing enough slander about his friend, Karamatsu slammed his fists on the table, and stormed off to their shared room, causing Todomatsu to scramble and hide behind Choromatsu in a fusion of shock and panic.

"What's his damage?" Choromatsu fumed at Karamatsu's sudden display of attitude as he comforted his cowering younger brother with a series of pats on the shoulder.

"Dunno, virginal rage or some shit," Ichimatsu trailed off in that monotonous drawl of his.

* * *

 **A/N:** I see to it that I am up-to-date with the episodes in season 2, and I hate to say this, but I am frustrated with the blatant lack of Karamatsu/Chibita interactions in this season. Well, at least we have fanart and fanfiction to quell that thirst!


	6. Bad Romance

**A/N:** _I want your love, and I want your revenge..._

Can you believe that it only took me 7 days to finish this? And just in time since February is around the corner!

To be honest, after I have completed chapter 5, I didn't have plenty of ideas and concepts gathered for this one; in fact, it was about 10% conceived! Also, I didn't have a lot to do at my new job so…

However, I promise you, there WILL be Karabita in this chapter! And a lot of it! Enjoy!

* * *

"Hey, Karamatsu." Todomatsu approached Karamatsu and tapped him on the shoulder, causing him to break eye contact with his reflection in the handheld mirror, and glanced behind him.

"Hikari just texted me saying she's sorry she bailed out on your date a few weeks back because she had serious cedar wood allergies and she was washing the pollen off all her clothes," Todomatsu explained as he flashed his phone screen, showing the conversation he had with Hikari.

Todomatsu continued, "She dropped her phone in the washing machine, lost her contacts and started over with a new phone." _So that explained the loud sneeze and splash of water before her call was cut short!_

"Now, she's asking me if you're still willing to give her a chance."

Karamatsu squinted at the message on the phone to confirm his brother's words. Perplexed, he raised his brows and asked, "Why is she saying this just now?"

"She got caught up with work. All those commissions," Todomatsu noted as he stashed away his phone. "Don't you remember? She's a freelance artist!"

Memories of the mysterious blonde girl showing various pictures on her phone, of art consisting of urban landscapes and multicolored polka dots, suddenly popped into Karamatsu's mind. _But of course!_

"Totty, can you give me her number?" Karamatsu asked. "Sure! She's been asking the same of you, too!" This time, Todomatsu didn't feel any ounce of jealousy and regret make their way into him, and readily gave his friend's number to his brother.

The nimbus cloud of emotion that's been hovering over Karamatsu for the past month has dissipated; he was elated to learn Hikari turned out to be sincerely interested in him and wasn't avoiding him after all! His fingers danced erratically on his flip phone as he typed out a message to Hikari. He paused, realizing his newfound crush on his best friend, Chibita. Would one even consider this cheating? It's not like they're even a couple! Despite the conflicting thoughts, he decided he will tell Chibita all about his upcoming date with Hikari later.

* * *

That night, Karamatsu was out pacing on the balcony, speaking to Chibita on his phone.

"What?! You meant you weren't stood up after all?" Chibita sounded surprised over the line.

"Yes!" Karamatsu raved, clenching a fist. "She sent me a message recently and she said she'd want to try to take me out again in 2 weeks!" His eyes sparkled like the millions of stars scattered across the velvety night sky, full of hope and wishes for the future.

"Wow, I uh, that's great Kara-boy!" Unknown to the caller, Chibita can't help but be a bit jealous, since Karamatsu's love life is looking up while his has come to a standstill ever since his flower fairy left him.

Chibita paused before adding, "But, 2 weeks? We need to practice as often as we can, dammit!" Karamatsu leaned across the balcony as a breeze wafted through his hair. "What do you have in mind?"

The line went silent, save for Chibita's soft breaths.

"I guess I can set up a dummy date for you first?" he finally suggested. "Come over by my apartment." Chibita proceeded to give Karamatsu the schedule of the upcoming date.

* * *

It was sundown; birds fluttered into the burning tangerine sky, school children filed down the sidewalks and filled the subways, office workers departed from their buildings and set out onto the streets.

Dressed in a sky blue shirt (two buttons undone from the collar down and sleeves rolled up to the elbows), sunglasses dangling from the collar, black pants with ripped holes on the knees, and solid black lace-up boots with 2-inch thick heels, Karamatsu poised himself in front of Chibita's door.

He took out a compact mirror and checked his appearance: he stroked his fringe, which was parted slightly to the left, creating a smooth wave of hair, his brows finely done and his foundation intact. There was no way his date would turn him down on looks alone; even Chibita said he wasn't an eye sore!

But still, what if he left a despicable impression on the poor girl? He enumerated the actions he was told to avoid around his dates: no cheesy lines, no Ozaki lyrics, no weird metaphors, no nonsensical passages…

What if the girl was way out of his league? What if she was the dignified heiress of a booming mega-company? The sophisticated princess of an exotic, faraway land? A vampire vixen out to prey on men for their blood and money? The bouquet of roses Karamatsu clutched wavered in his hand, hidden behind his back in order to surprise his date. It was part of his personal code to see to it that his first dates involved gifting precious flowers to girls; he hoped his date appreciated flowers.

How was Chibita even going to involve himself in this date? It's not like he would be a third-wheel to Karamatsu and the mystery girl, monitoring and facilitating their every move, would he? Maybe he would supply some sort of spy paraphernalia, allowing discreet two-way communication? Walkie-talkies would be too obvious…

Karamatsu inhaled deeply, and finally rapped his fist on Chibita's door. Would Chibita answer the door or the date? What did she look like? Whatever she looked like, whoever she was, Karamatsu was prepared, no, destined to meet her. A few resounding footsteps later, the door opens, revealing the person behind it.

Clad in a navy blue sleeveless peter pan collared blouse, gray pleated short skirt and red thigh highs, Chibita stood in the doorway, with one hand clutching a shoulder-length, dark auburn wig, and the other on the door handle.

Karamatsu wasn't prepared for the sight right in front of him, nearly dropping the bouquet. "Chibita?!"

"I, uh, thought it would be better if I were your test date, so you wouldn't get your hopes up on an actual girl!" Chibita explained, with a hint of apprehension in his tone.

Karamatsu lowered his head and closed his eyes in realization. "I see." Despite his calm and collected exterior, Karamatsu was pumping his fist in the air and hollering inside, eternally grateful that he's landed a date with his best friend instead of some strange, uninterested girl. Maybe then, Chibita would too form a crush back on him after their date!

"Come in, come in!" Chibita motioned with one arm, retreating backwards into his apartment. Karamatsu enthusiastically entered Chibita's apartment as he laid down the flowers, untied and removed his boots at the genkan.

Karamatsu picked up the bouquet. "Are those meant for me?" Chibita eyed the roses. "I initially expected to go out on a blind date with some random girl, but sure!" Karamatsu gestured a hand on his bangs, then entrusted the flowers to his friend. "Um, thanks." Chibita took a whiff of the roses and stuck them in the fridge; finding a vase can wait until after he got back home from the fake date.

"Hey uh…I hope you don't think it's fucked up that I'm dressed up like this…" Chibita nervously said as he smoothed out his skirt with his palms. He worried about the whole rental girlfriend fiasco, where he took pills that transformed him to have the slender, perfect, petite body and pristine appearance of a cisgender girl. Prior to that, he often toyed with the idea of drifting off into the ladies' section of the department store to try out skirts and dresses, but he passes all too well as male; but as a rental girlfriend, he felt no shame in wearing the frilliest clothes possible or the sparkliest jewelry known to humankind. Now that he's back to his intersex, transgender chubby male stature, he's hesitant to get back into dressing up in women's clothing in public, fearing the judgmental eyes of people assuming he's confused and faking his identity, doing all this to deceive people.

But it is far, so far, from the truth.

"I think you look quite adorable!" Karamatsu complimented his friend, his cheeks hinting a touch of pink. "The stockings are a nice touch," he added. Karamatsu has forgiven Chibita for the incident, after hearing that the latter got too tied up in Iyami's schemes. He was simply happy that his friend was being supportive of him. _After all, there's nothing wrong with self-expression if it's not being used to exploit others._

"Th-thanks…Kara-boy," Chibita croaked as they both sat down by the table. He hated how his friend caught him in a moment of weakness. Then, he went on to explain that he's offering himself to be Karamatsu's date so that he can control the flow of the session; had he brought over an actual girl for Karamatsu to go out with, results can prove disastrous and unsatisfactory. Besides, not like he himself even had a lot of friends, let alone ones that were girls. Of course Totoko wasn't an option; he was well-aware that she couldn't stand to go on a date with any of the Matsuno sextuplets, not even if it were a simulated date.

"For the entire session, you shall refer to me as Chibiko, so if anyone suspects me of doing the whole rental girlfriend thing again…"Chibita dug in his makeup bag, grabbed some foundation and slathered it neatly on his face, covering the lines on cheeks. "Just ignore them." He ran an eyebrow pencil on his brows to define them. He dabbed on some blush and brushed his cheekbones, then slicked on some tinted gloss on his lips. Then, Chibita attached some false eyelashes to his real ones and applied mascara, enhancing the femininity of his made up face, and ensuring that he's unrecognizable by anyone else who knew him personally. All those hours of watching tutorials on YouTube and reading fashion magazines have paid off in the end. For the finishing touch, Chibita put on the wig, turning him into a whole new person.

Karamatsu looked on at his friend admiringly.

* * *

That evening, the duo took a short stroll in the park, where families and couples spent the day having picnics and relaxing. Down the cobbled path, Chibita trotted beside Karamatsu, who took long strides. Chibita's skirt and red handbag swayed as his white heeled Mary Janes clacked on the pavement. The two were linking arms, which didn't really attract that much unwanted attention from onlookers, deeming them to be a genuine couple.

Their stroll through the park took them to one of Akatsuka district's popular shopping centers. It was swarming with shoppers of every age, toting shopping bags of all colors and sizes with them. There were promoters on every corner, handing out flyers and packs of tissue advertising various nearby stores and business in order to attract potential customers and clients.

The Saturday crowd didn't really bother Karamatsu that much; he was a people-person to the core, and the more people noticed him, the more invigorated he got. In Chibita's case, he despised crowds; he despised getting crushed between strangers, inhaling their body odor and their sweat clinging to him. It was torture. But for the sake of friendship, he must brave the turbulent sea of people.

He hated to do this, but to Chibita, being Chibiko meant he had to act cutesy and perky; girly as hell. He was a manly man, dammit! He owed it to his disguise and amateur makeup skills that nobody from the weekend crowd recognized him. He swore that he saw a certain brown-haired bucktoothed someone, but it just happened to be some foreigner doing some sightseeing.

"Kara-kun!" Chibita managed to reach a high-pitched tone, attracting Karamatsu's attention. God, acting girly made him want to commit projectile vomiting on the spot. In spite of it all, he carried on and announced, "Let's go shopping!"

Chibita glanced at every window display, admiring the girly fashions adorned by the mannequins on display. How he wished he could openly dress up like that all the time, not giving a shit what others thought about him! But today, he was incognito as a sweet young lady named Chibiko, thus allowing him to enter any shop and try on any feminine article of clothing his heart so desired.

Chibita projected his interest in feminine clothing via Chibiko, fawning over every piece he came upon and then trying them on at the fitting room. Every time he'd set foot outside to show off his look, Chibita would inquire Karamatsu for his second opinion on the outfit. Every time, Karamatsu praised his date's appearance, telling him he looked lovely, stunning, adorable. Chibita would then remark on the outfit's flaws, it was too tight around the waist, it's eye-searingly bright, it looked better on the mannequin. He did manage to agree on a few getups and paid for them with his own money, despite Karamatsu's offers to do so.

Karamatsu expressed his desire to check out men's wear outlets and do some window shopping of his own, mostly singling out stores that carried bold and edgy styles. He gravitated towards masculine leather jackets, damaged and torn jeans, and sturdy pairs of boots and shoes. In one particular shop, Karamatsu tried on a varsity jacket with a large embroidered eagle emblem emblazoned on its back.

"Oh, you're so handsome, Kara-kun!" Chibita would gush a compliment in a sing-song voice. Karamatsu showed contentment by cocking his head and placing his hand on his fringe dramatically. Coincidentally, his tastes in clothing happened to be too expensive, the tag reading ¥9,000. "Can you even afford that?" Chibita asked skeptically. Karamatsu merely nodded and proceeded to spend about half of his allowance on the jacket, which was the only merchandise he has purchased the whole night.

Stepping out of the store, Chibita rubbed his growling stomach, and chirped at his date, "I'm hungry!" Karamatsu grinned at him. "How about we go to _Interlude, my dear_?" he crooned as he put his hand on Chibita's shoulder. _Interlude_ was a fancy restaurant that served gourmet sandwiches and pasta, and their house specialty was pan-seared T-bone steak with a side of veggies, which was Karamatsu's all-time favorite dish, besides Chibita's amazing oden.

Finding the restaurant too expensive for his tastes and his wallet, Chibita thought of a better idea. "Nah, I feel more like hamburgers tonight!" he said as he tugged on Karamatsu's arm, leading him to a 50's themed diner named _Smashing Atoms_. Chibita wasn't really that huge a fan of burgers since oden was number one in his heart and stomach, but hey, couldn't hurt to try something different for a change!

 _Smashing Atoms_ was home to neon signage, Hawaiian motifs, posters of 50's celebrities, atomic age stickers, and old vinyl records strewn across its bright red walls. Bubbly waitresses clad in short, pastel pink dresses and white aprons glided across the checkered black and white linoleum floor as they served orders from table to table. " _Can't Help Falling In Love_ " by Elvis was playing from the large jukebox near the cashier.

The general atmosphere of the establishment put the couple in a pleasant mood; Karamatsu never knew Chibita had such wonderful taste in aesthetic!

Much to Karamatsu's surprise, Chibita held his hand and picked one of the booth seats by the window. Seated across Karamatsu, Chibita crossed his legs and patted his skirt; his legs dangled over the red vinyl chair, his feet barely brushing against the ground due to his short height. He's seen advertisements for the restaurant during his ventures in the city whenever he had to do his grocery shopping; it was a good thing they selected this venue for their dinner, Chibita has always wanted to check this place out and complimented the Hawaiian motifs as he was a fan of the state and tropical themes in general as well.

"You have lovely eyes, Chibita," Karamatsu gushed to his date, noting the neon lights reflected in his dark eyes, seeming to dance. Internally mortified at the comment, Chibita's chest tightened as he forced himself let out a girlish giggle instead. "Thank you! But my name is Chibiko!" Chibita flashed a smile as he tucked a strand of his wig's hair behind his ear.

After dictating their orders of burgers, fries, and milkshakes to a waitress, Chibita faced his date, smiled softly and briefed him on important details regarding dating etiquette. He also told Karamatsu that their session has been going well so far.

The rest of the world melted away from Karamatsu's line-of-sight, leaving only the image of Chibita in his peripheral vision. Even the conventionally attractive waitresses were insignificant whizzing blurs in his eyes. Perhaps it was just his imagination, but he swore that Chibita must've gazed at him fondly. Glancing at his reflection on the window, Karamatsu made sure that his hair was combed neatly in place and his makeup intact.

An idea lit up in Karamatsu's head: what if he used some pick-up lines on Chibita? It's not like he's some girl, plus being Karamatsu's friend, he might find them amusing to hear and react positively! That's a sure way to win him over!

Karamatsu leaned across the table and whispered to Chibita: "I'm a thief and I'm here to steal your heart." This startled Chibita. "What the hell was that for?" His body tensed in his seat as he fiddled with his handbag's strap.

"Practicing my suave pick-up lines on you, of course!" Karamatsu excused, finally brimming with confidence after all these weeks spent moping about at home. "Wanna hear more?"

"Why would I want to liste- " Before Chibita could finish his protest, Karamatsu dished out his next pick-up line.

"Hey, aren't you tired?"

"…no?" Chibita raised an eyebrow at him curiously. No, as in he wasn't tired at all, and no, he wasn't interested in listening to his stupid pick-up li-

"Because…you've been running through my mind the whole day!"

"Painful!" Chibita exclaimed, leering at Karamatsu, who could only smirk at him and utter "heh" as he put on his sunglasses dramatically. "My lenses turn dark in the sunshine of your love."

"Gross!" Chibita pretended to gag.

Karamatsu lowered his sunglasses to gaze at Chibita in the eyes. "Are you a star?" he asked.

"Okay that's just about enou-" Before Chibita could finish complaining, Karamatsu winked at him. "Because you are out of this world," he grinned, stifling a chuckle with his free hand. It is true, after all; Chibita and his oden were both out of this world, so to speak. That's why he kept coming back all this time. He hoped to get the message across to Chibita, that he liked him romantically, and this was the best way he could come up with right now.

"S-stop, just stop, ya idjit!" Chibita whined as he buried his reddened face in his hands. _Why did Karamatsu suddenly decide to say such painful things to him? Did he often do this with his dates? Or was he just trying to embarrass him to death? God, hopefully nobody is looking at them!_

Their banter was interrupted as their waitress glided in on her roller skates, arriving at their table with a tray of burgers, french fries, and shakes.

Karamatsu noticed the way Chibita ate with much gusto: his small, sharp teeth sinking into the juicy hamburger, lips puckering up to sip some milkshake through a straw, a flash of tongue licking his lips clean. The way his cute little upturned nose wrinkled. Through the makeup, his scarred cheeks showed up faintly, moving like the wiggling whiskers of a hamster devouring a snack, as he chewed on his food.

Karamastu's heart would pop at any given moment, at the very sight of Chibita right in front of him; he was exhilarated to be on an actual date with his crush! Well, it was a dummy date, but it felt just like the real deal. He even got to use some of the lines he picked up from his new book! _Heh, Chibita didn't have to act so coy when he heard my lines…_

Time came for the bill, and Karamatsu swiped his wallet from his pants' back pocket. Chibita put a hand on Karamatsu's to put it down, causing him to wince. "No, let ME pay!" Chibita insisted as he dug out a purse from his handbag. "Besides, you're a NEET with no real income!"

Karamatsu could only blush furiously for two reasons: Chibita touched his hand again, plus he's embarrassed over the fact that he wasn't as financially stable as his date was.

"Just… don't say any more painful things for the rest of the evening, dammit!" Chibita hissed under his breath. Karamatsu, although inwardly upset over the statement, can't help but just nod at him.

* * *

Outside a movie theater, the couple browsed the posters featuring the films that were currently airing. Karamatsu was torn between two films: "You and Me, for Eternity, a typical romance film portraying a man and a woman embracing each other lovingly under a cherry blossom tree, and " _Johnny 12 Guns_ ", an American film about a blond-blue-eyed, gun-toting renegade spy. He took some more time to ponder over his options.

"Picked anything yet, Kara-kun?" Chibita asked sweetly, effortlessly putting on his best feminine voice. " _Non, non, my dear_ ," Karamatsu wagged a finger at his date. "I seem to be stuck in a predicament. My heart can't decide!"

A hand grappled Karamatsu's arm and pulled him away from the two posters. "Let's see this one!" Chibita pointed at a poster featuring the title "Lament at Camp" and three campers who appeared to be lost in the woods, unaware of the spooks looming behind them. Karamatsu made up his mind and agreed to view the film, a mash-up of horror/adventure/comedy, hoping it'll please his date.

After paying for the tickets, Karamatsu and Chibita checked the schedule of the movie on their tickets. Seeing as the movie wouldn't start until one more hour, they decided to wait it out by playing at a nearby arcade.

Various game theme songs were blaring all at once, a cacophony in the couple's ears. Bright lights emanated from the crane games, whack-a-mole machines, racing simulators, fighting games, beckoning anyone to come and give them a shot. On one side, rows and rows of gashapon machines waited for eager children and collectors to insert a coin in their slots and earn special prizes.

"I bet you can't win me that cute teddy bear, Kara-kun!" Chibita teased his date, challenging Karamatsu to impress him by picking out the plush toy from the U.F.O. catcher. Karamatsu went on a tirade on how he had maintained his crane game prowess since his teen years; however, his efforts on twisting the knob and pushing the button proved this to be an exaggeration, winning him absolutely nothing. Chibita didn't even hide his normal laughter. Cute as it was, Karamatsu can't help but feel a bit tortured by it.

"My turn!" Chibita announced as he bumped Karamatsu aside, inserting some coins to start up the machine. As the crane clumsily picked up a blue teddy bear, Chibita traced its movement to the chute. Before the bear could arrive to its destination, it dropped beside a consolation prize and knocked it down the chute. Chibita cheered and showed off his catch, which turned out to be a wooden yo-yo.

Chibita patted Karamatsu's arm reassuringly. "Don't fret, Kara-kun! There's always next time!"

* * *

Time came for the couple to enter the theater and watch "Lament at Camp"; they found their designated seats and made themselves at home by shifting in them, trying to find the right and comfortable position. The entire theatre was silent and still as a graveyard; thank goodness for the polite and considerate aura of Japanese folks like them. Multiple ads and trailers played, none of them particularly engaging to any of the two.

Several minutes in, Chibita had the bucket of popcorn propped on his lap; he took fistfuls of popcorn and munched on it, the foundation-covered lines on his cheeks wiggling like hamster whiskers once more. Karamatsu was taking some popcorn too but his hand would occasionally brush against Chibita's own hand. Well, Chibita didn't seem to mind.

Halfway through the movie, Chibita set his arm on the arm rest, concentrating on the film. Karamatsu would modestly put his own arm beside his date's, hoping to ingrain the idea that he was interested in him. The very touch of Chibita's skin against his sent his heart fluttering, sent tingles down his spine. Chibita's mind was not on his arm but on the scenes taking place before him, watching one of the protagonists make important decisions that would drive the plot further.

Karamatsu hated the jumpscares in the movie, causing him to leap right out of his seat and impulsively grab Chibita's hand to comfort him. Chibita found the whole hand-grabbing thing completely unnecessary but he didn't have the heart to tell his best friend off. He focused on the scenes unfolding on the silver screen, laughing discreetly whenever the token goofball of the trio got caught up in hijinks.

* * *

"Thank you for the date, Kara-kun. It was fun. Let's keep in touch." Chibita said softly, bowing at his date. Finally, it was time for Chibita to cut the girly act and be himself again. He took his keys out from his handbag and opened the door to his apartment. Then, he faced Karamatsu.

It was bittersweet for such a lovely evening coming to an inevitable close. To leave a lasting impression, Karamatsu took Chibita's hand and planted a kiss on it. Surprised with the act, Chibita's eyes widened.

"You do know this is a simulated date, right?" Chibita said disgruntledly as he withdrew his hand. Karamatsu looked up and dropped his shoulders. He could only look at Chibita wistfully.

Clashing thoughts entered Chibita's mind: he enjoyed his outing with Karamatsu and witnessed a side of him he only heard through stories told by the sextuplets; however, he found the hand kissing gesture unnecessary and uncalled for. He didn't know he would regret the next few words that would leave his mouth.

"What the hell was that kiss on my hand?" Chibita scratched his wigged head in confusion. "You're being too forward. Most women would think you're being creepy."

Thanks to the influence of imported Western films, shows, and novels, Karamatsu had them practically ingrained in his person, becoming more and more oblivious to his own culture's norms, leaving him feeling deeply ashamed of forgetting his roots.

Chibita invited Karamatsu inside, the both of them removing their shoes at the genkan. Chibita directed Karamatsu to sit by the table right across him.

"I've also lost count of the times you called me by my name instead of my alias, Chibiko," Chibita resumed telling off his friend as he inserted his fingers under his wig and lifted it off his sweaty, bald head. How careless of Karamatsu to forget, since he was so preoccupied with the fact that he was going out with his beloved friend. "What if someone we know caught us? What if Iyami assumed I've been doing some stupid rental girlfriend shit behind his back?" Chibita chewed his lip, worried someone he knew would find him and threaten him with physical violence upon wearing girls' clothing in public again. "I have a reputation to uphold, dammit!"

Karamatsu was downtrodden by Chibita's words; he had so much fun with him that he wanted to subtly let him know he's interested in him. Whatever he wanted out of their date, it seems he got the short end of the stick after all his efforts, as Chibita was either oblivious to his feelings or giving him the cold shoulder on purpose.

"I appreciate the fact that you tried to pay for my shopping expenses, dinner, and movie tickets; that's pretty gallant of you," Chibita praised his friend. "But you're a NEET and mooch off your dad's salary!" He slammed the table for emphasis.

"But on the plus side, you're not bad looking, for a Matsuno." Chibita rubbed the back of his head and looked away as he said this, hoping not to make any eye contact with Karamatsu nor to see his reaction to being complimented on his appearance. He swallowed a lump in his throat and cleared it. "I really admire the effort you put into your appearance! You don't look super painful tonight, but your outfit still exudes an essence of your personality. Subtlety is key!"

"And you don't seem to be the type of guy to cheat. I felt your eyes on me the entire time," Chibita noted. Karamatsu can't help but feel bashful around him, not to mention thankful that Chibita is in no way psychic or else he'd easily figure out Karamatsu's developing feelings for him. What would he make of that? Would he stop speaking to him? Hate his guts? Would he even want to remain friends if he ever found out?

"High school drama club must've paid off, 'cuz you sure acted like a gentleman towards me the whole time!" Chibita gave Karamatsu a friendly swat on the back, causing him to wheeze. "It felt genuine, as if I were your actual date!" That's exactly what Karamatsu was aiming for, hoping for Chibita to ease up and feel like he was on a real date instead of a simulated one.

"All you need to do is fix your cheesy pick-up lines and be a little less affectionate with your date. Like I said before, you need to be taking it slow."

Karamatsu felt a little hurt because Chibita might have not gotten the message that he feels the same way for him the way he felt about women. Sure, his pick-up lines were called corny, but he truly felt like he could be himself, his painful, painful self, around Chibita.

Chibita copied Karamatsu's mannerism of winking and making a thumbs-up sign. "This is a bit early, but good luck on your date with Hikari!"

Those words stabbed Karamatsu repeatedly; his interest in Hikari has been waning since he realized his feelings for Chibita, especially since he's looking forward to go out with Chibita again. _Was it so bad to prefer the company of your same-gender friend over a girl you only met once?_

"I can only do so much to help you. Here's to hoping that she's the one for you!" Chibita patted Karamatsu on the arm before sending him out the door.

"See ya later, pretty boy!" Chibita joked affectionately. Karamatsu saw this as a heartfelt compliment, his cheeks becoming rosier by the second. He merely waved at his friend without uttering a word.

* * *

 **A/N:** I'm so glad I was able to finish this so quickly and update within a week after chapter 5!

This chapter required a bit of research because, frankly, I've never been on a real date, and I'm also aromantic.

I don't really have a good reason for titling this chapter "Bad Romance" other than the fact that this song would often pop up on my iPod when I was writing.

Lastly, shout out to trans boys with feminine interests, cuz you are totally valid! Just like Chibita!

P.S. Comments and reviews are highly appreciated! ❤


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